Antigrav, Leaking Electricity, and Strange Dogs

I was walking along a dark alley at night. To the left were trees and power lines.  My sharp eyes spotted movement behind the trees and I noticed an air ship that looked like a fat rocket about 50 feet long was slowly moving along about 4 stories up.  The body was dark colored but it had small fins that were orange or tan in color but still hard to see in the dark.  I stopped and focused my attention on it and as I did, it also stopped moving.  It made no sound and I realized it was aware of my attention on it, so I looked away and it continued moving.  In my mind I was thinking, "So they have antigrav now, this proves it." But then I realized this might be a dream so I better wait to make sure I don't wake up first before I try to tell anyone.  As much as it seemed real, dream information is not going to be trusted in the same way, I thought to myself.  

I continued walking and got to a large red wooden structure on my left.  It reminded me of the red barn I currently work at and was 2 stories, but taller than my 2 story barn and with a wooden roof, not tin.  The peaks on the roof were taller too, it seemed more like a small house type of structure.  Power lines ran high over it and I could barely see some of the electricity was somehow leaking through the air in a zig zag path to the top of the structure which I felt was bad.  I could only see it with my third eye vision though, it was not visible to the naked eye.  

Cut to daytime and I was in front of the structure working with others discussing the electricity issue which I thought was dangerous and the others were explaining to me that they had been given mitigation measures and had performed all of them as instructed.  But I was still concerned because of what I had seen the night before.  However I did not understand the issue fully so I was not sure what to think and the situation left me feeling unsettled.

A bit later in the day and we had many cages set up in front of the structure with dogs in them and the woman who owned the dogs was puttering around taking care of them.  Buyers were coming to see the dogs and I was helping out. I took out one of the dogs to hold and carry around and asked her about them.  She said those dogs were 'random genetics.'  I am not sure if this is accurate but I felt like the dogs were not produced the usual way but some kind of biological engineering was used and the dog I had was basically an experiment.  Dogs that turned out ordinary like these ones were adopted out.

She was pulling out another one that looked like a large corgi in the back but had a huge wavy lions mane of hair on the head that was a very light blonde color.  I felt the mane was natural, not a special hair cut, and asked if that was also a random genetics dog and she said, "No, this one is a Morse."  She took her dog to a spigot around the side of the structure and got ready to bath it, but it did not seem happy about the plan.  It opened it's mouth really wide in protest but did not make noise. I interpreted that as its way of showing unhappiness. 

Meanwhile I had let my dog run on the ground and it trotted to the bathing area and jammed it's head and upper body into a deep puddle as if to sniff under water.  It did not even seem concerned about lack of air!  I pulled mine out of the puddle and laughed that mine was not to get the bath but was the one that wanted one.  

I walked back to the front and a man had a dog that looked like a double sized dark grey pug out and sitting on a table.  He indicated he wanted that one for sure and maybe one other but he was not decided yet.  He gazed with pleasure on the pug style dog and it gazed at him.  As the dog looked at him, its skin slowly twitched and undulated and I interpreted that as the way it showed pleasure, the dog had bonded with the man and they gazed at each other in adoration. 

All the dogs had large bodies and heads and smaller legs and I interpreted all of them as being 'puppies' although they did not all look like puppies.  They were sorted in their cages according to length of fur, from short hair to medium hair mixed genetics to the Morse dog.  They all seemed clean and happy and well taken care of.  When removed from their cages, we did not worry about them running away, they stayed nearby and were calmer and more reasoned than regular dogs. 

I walked back around the cages to the owner of the dogs, she had finished the bath of the one dog and we chatted about some health issues and genetics.  She was of a very short and slight build but seemed quite robust even though she was older with long gray fluffy hair. I felt like she was also extremely intelligent.  But she commented to me that a downside of something, and I am not sure what (her genetics?) was that she could only eat 'gnome food' which she seemed a bit sad about because she liked the taste of other foods but could not eat them.   End of dream.    

Little Shop of Horrors

 (While Dreaming)

I encountered my old boss Larry.  We had not parted on good terms, mostly because he is a massive jerk but for whatever reason, we are chatting amicably now.  In fact we even plan to go to a movie.  On the walk up to to the theater, he asks me about red feathers and says his sister likes them.  He also says he's heard there is a coating that can be put on the feathers that can make them better quality and more fluffy.  In the dream, I understand this and talk about how the coating makes them great for hair feathers (feathers that are clipped into hair for decorative purposes) and makes them nice and supple in the hair with a nice S curve.  

 As we get towards the door of the theater, apparently there is a change of plans and we reverse directions.  I think we are going back to his store but am not sure.  He is driving and he seems to go insanely fast on a highway that twists and turns and is so narrow I can't really see it.  I do my best not to be scared of dying in a car crash but it isn't easy.  

We arrive in a sunny relaxing paved area between stores where people walk casually and we chat more.  I think about the scary road to the location and he surprises me by asking my what I am thinking about.  I blurt out, "It's a good day to die!" and surprisingly, he chuckles good naturedly even though the statement is nonsensical. 

Then a very dark black young man in a expensive looking sharp grey wool coat comes walking by.  He seems nervous and I wonder if Larry will accuse him of stealing since that is the kind of assumption Larry would often make.  But instead they talk in a friendly way, even though I get the impression they do not know each other.  

The next thing I know, they have walked off together, side by side and are already far away. I decide to follow out of curiosity and hustle after them.  Soon I turn a corner and the street is now wide with tall gothic style stores and structures on both side and abandoned streets.  I assume people are staying inside due to the pandemic.  The sky is now overcast and soon an insanely heavy rain begins to fall.  I decide that I can handle some rain and continue on.  

Soon I come to a huge stone structure that looks like the underside of a massive overpass but very old and cool looking, albeit a bit creepy.  It's so big I can't really see the end of it, almost like a tunnel and rather poorly lit. As I go under, I see some workers on ladders trying to pry open some holes in the roof that look like some kind of drainage.  I get the impression there is a type of pressure buildup that needs to be relieved, these emergency workers are almost frantic trying to relieve the pressure quickly.  Somehow there is a store front to my right with huge windows, it reminds me of Larry's old store but inside I see a scene from a horror movie.  

Half human half ghoulish creatures are somehow pouring into the store.  I feel like they are draining in like liquid from portals but then materializing into these ghouls.  They are slight of build and terrified, running in a panic in every direction, trying to cling to each other but getting separated from each other in the panic.  With them is a profound sense of terror and horror that goes well beyond just their gruesome appearance.  The scene is for some reason in black and white instead of color (I wondered later if that was to partially protect myself from the horror).

 

I am completely shocked staring at this not believing it can be real in front of my eyes. I feel like something like this should be on the news if it was real but I had not heard anything.  I feel a profound horror emanating from the place but for some reason am not totally scared of the ghouls, they feel weak and diminished like golem from Lord of the Rings and seem more interested in running than attacking.  Some of them run by me out of the store but I continue to stare into the store window in shock.  I feel like I want to ask the government workers I just saw what is happening here but then I decide the smart thing is to get away from obvious danger so I turn and run myself.  Luckily I clearly remember the way back.  Then I wake with a start to a fine Thanksgiving morning with tears in my eyes.  

Looking back on the dream, I wonder if mean old man Larry has finally died or will soon and this horror is where he is going.  But as much as I didn't like him and he may well be an evil person, after seeing it, I couldn't wish this kind of hell on anyone.  

Who Are You? (Or On the art of Communication)

I woke up early today but once I was moving around, I felt massively tired, so I sat on the couch, put my head down, and took a nap shortly after I had just gotten out of bed.  This is how it goes sometimes these days, and not long after I put my head down, I started to dream.

In the dream, I was sitting on a green bench out in a parking lot near a busy street and still with my head down dozing.  My friend Dave was sitting on the other end of the bench looking out over the parking lot.  Eventually a woman came by and rushed up to Dave and seemed to want something from him.  He seemed irritated with her but spoke with her anyway.  Eventually, he came over to me and surreptitiously handed me a business card and some money and asked me to hide it.  I put it on my thigh under my hand and tried to act natural.  Once the woman was further away, I moved it into my purse. I noticed I had a big wad of money in my purse and now his money was next to mine, for some reason this seemed interesting, like I had forgotten I had that much money in there and I was surprised by the size of the wad. 

Soon the woman came back and talked to Dave a bit, said some friendly words to me and said she had to go.  I realized she was part of a counter lockdown demonstration and was carrying a sign to that effect.  I wanted to give her some words of encouragement so as she was leaving, I tried to say, 'Yah, good job!' but the words came out quiet and low and grumbled. I realized I was asleep and it's hard to speak when asleep and I felt she probably did not hear me.  

I dozed more on the bench until I noticed a weird sickly ratlike animal crawling along the pavement towards us.  I asked Dave what it was and he said he didn't know.  It was missing a lot of fur on it's back and the skin appeared ready to crack open, as if it was half rotted inside but yet still alive somehow.  I took a stick and poked its back but it did not respond to the prodding. I felt I could easy kill it just with a hard poke, which would cause its rotting insides to burst out, but I did not want to do that.  I asked Dave several more times if he knew what it was, for some reason I felt he MUST know and if I asked again, he'd surely tell me, but each time he said he did not know.  Eventually the moldering rat creature left and then another one came that was similar.  I poked that one too and asked Dave if he knew what it was again but all the outcomes were still the same.  And it too wandered off again.

Then I became aware of a middle aged black man with speckles of beard hair standing there looking at me.  Although he seemed to be in a different place than me, under a wooden door frame in a building, somehow I could still see him.  He seemed poised to move on but he seemed important somehow so I said, "You seem important, who are you?"  In response I could see his lips moving but could not hear the words.  Frustrated I said again, "Wait!  Who are you!"  He seemed amused by this as if he knew it would not work but he answered again anyway and again, although I listened with all my might, I could not hear the response.  Then he turned and I knew he was starting to leave.  But I was determined so I said, "WAIT!  Can you answer in a way that I can hear you?"

He paused and looked at me.  For my part, I tried to listen again and then my left ear seemed to increase greatly in sensitivity.  I felt it 'open up' in a weird way as if I could now hear even the tiniest hair vibrate on a fly.   Around me was a slowly increasing massive din of noise, channels of noise coming from all directions, all manner of noises, squeaks and growls, tones and clanging, and above all there were many kinds of people and things talking here and there, almost every sound imaginable, coming from every direction at many different levels. I could hear them all at once, confusing yet amazing and I was in awe of hearing this all at once.  And then I determined that I must listen very hard for the answer from the black man in between all that racket. 

I knew the answer in my mind before I heard it, by the time the sound came, it was anticlimactic
.  In a gravely whisper so very quiet that I could barely hear it, slowly emerging with a great amount of time between each word, I heard him say, ".... i ......... am ................ Morphius."  And then I woke up.  

*  Note that the black man did look similar but not identical to Lawrence Fishburne from the Matrix movies.   Google also showed me that Morpheus is said to be the Greek god of dreams. 

My Part in the Game

It began innocently enough as a mystery whodunnit dinner game. A jovial group of us came to eat and digest clues to figure out a grand mystery. The leaders of the game were a finely dressed sharp eyed older woman in a white knee length skirt and her side kick, a middle aged tall thin quiet man with a receding hairline. At first it was fun, huddling in groups, guessing at clues, pondering on who we could trust.

But then it took a sinister turn.  The old woman became snide and verbally abusive.  Eventually I learned she was hitting and abusing some of the younger people way out in the massive back yard when others weren't around.  We began to complain and that's when she told us we couldn't leave unless we did what she said, and there was no way out.  It was also at that time that a lot of the people who had come in with me were now gone.  No they were not milling in the back yard or in another room, they just weren't there anymore and the old woman with a sly smile told me that it was none of my business where they were.  

Weeks past and things only devolved from there.  She became more abusive.   Her favorite weapon was a short whip or flail that she would lash at your face if she didn't like how fast you were moving or if you looked at her for too long.  The three of us that were left learned to keep our heads down.  I noticed I rarely saw the quiet mousy nervous 18 year old girl, she was usually out in the backyard, and eventually I didn't see her at all.  Then it was just me and that tall pudgy middle aged Asian looking man with the kind smile.  Until he was gone too.

So many weeks had passed, or was it months now?  I realized I was some kind of chosen one in their eyes.  They had me wearing a weird short black shiny cloak that in my opinion has was horribly tacky and cheap but they seemed to think it had special meaning.  Needless to say, I kept my real opinions to myself and tried to go along with their bs.  Over time, they were behaving less violently and for the most part, we lived quietly.  But I was still looking for opportunities to escape.  

One day when the man was not around, I tried to seduce the old woman.  It was a risk but I could not think of a better strategy.  She was obviously the leader and maybe I could get her to trust me more or let down her guard or maybe I could sew strife between her and her side kick.  I noticed as I got close to her, she was much older looking than I had first thought, deep lines etched into her face, covered over incompletely with skin tone makeup, how had I not noticed that before?  She was just really really OLD!  But it didn't matter for my strategy, I figured it would either work or she would get angry and hit me but I had already been hit so many times, another round was worth the risk.  Strangely she just looked at my impassively when I tried though, with a blank stony look on her face devoid of personality.  The seduction was not working at all and I felt like a fool for trying, but neither did she seem displeased.  

Instead she calmly explained to me that I was not designed to be with her but instead I was to be for the middle aged man. Because she would not be around much longer, she had blood cancer and would be gone soon.  I calmly accepted the information, at this point, I was numb to any trauma and I also had no love of the woman, if she died, that just meant a change in power dynamics, but other than that, I had no feelings other than being glad they were not angry with me. 

Not long after that, the man left for the back yard with a shovel and pick and I knew that the old woman was dead and he meant to bury her.  Some hours later, he came back in heading directly towards me with the shovel and a very intense expression.  I realized he was angry, the first time I had actually sensed strong emotion from him.  He took the shovel and started hitting me with it and I understood he was angry about the death of the woman and taking it out on me.  This was the first time either of them had ever hit me with something that dangerous as full swings with a shovel.  Strangely though, each time the shovel came down on me, it seemed to slow down and not hit me hard and not actually hurt.  At first I just stared in confusion but then I realized my part in the game meant I should put on a show so I held my head and tried to look agonized, it seemed important that I put on the best and most convincing show that I could until finally it was over.    

After that, the house was quiet with just the two of us, he had never been one to talk much and I had learned months ago to keep my own mouth shut for anything other than essential communication.  I realized I was quite lonely and began to long for communication with my friends and social media.  Surely there would be many good conversations and stories waiting for me once I got back to the rest of the world. I looked around the house, everything was white, the furniture, the carpet, the entire place was bland and empty and devoid of character and totally totally white, how I had I not noticed that before?  This was my old home that I had grown up in, except that everything was white.  It felt surreal.  And very very lonely.

The next thing I knew, I was making phone calls to old friends on an old fashioned land line telephone in the kitchen of the house.  I was telling them yes, I'd be getting married soon.  What was he like?  My voice was calm and completely jovial as I spoke to them.  The man was in the kitchen working but also listening to my every word, but I felt confident, I knew my acting skills were perfect.  I told my friends he was like 'nice guy meets Jesus' but in my mind I added 'freak' at the end as in 'nice guy meets Jesus Freak.'  My friends were happy for me, they assumed I was happy and that made them happy.  I could tell that the man was also pleased.  For some reason beyond my ability to understand, he believed my act, he thought I meant what I said to my friends, he thought their mission had succeeded.  But inside I knew I was just waiting for my chance to escape. 

And then I woke up.   

   

We Shouldn't but I Can't Stop

He came over unexpected that night out of the blue.  Why after all this time?  It had been so long, what did he want?  He acted like it was just a casual visit but we both knew there was nothing casual about it.  We hadn't even spoken in months since our work no longer brought us together.  Yibin, even his name churned up warm feelings inside me.  We had worked together on that project, sexual tension thick in the air and the two of us continually dancing around it, with our little suggestive jokes and accidental touches, but neither of us quite acting on it.  Once our assignments ended, we had walked away from each other as if there was nothing between us.  I knew I had made the right decision but yet I still could not help but miss him, even after all this time, a part of me still lingered on his memory.  

And then he came over unexpected out of the blue.  We exchanged banal pleasantries and for lack of a better idea, I started preparing him a meal.  The kitchen was a mess, dishes stacked up, if I had known in advance, I would have cleaned but too late now.  I found space on the counter to lay down a cutting board and started chopping vegetables and meat to add them to a fry pan, quick and easy.  Meanwhile, he quietly stood in the kitchen behind me, I could feel his heavy gaze on my back as I fidgeted nervously.  The food was almost ready.  I pulled out a clean plate and dug through scattered silverware in the drawer for a big serving spoon.

And then in a heart beat I felt him push up against me from behind and then stand still, his front touching against my back and butt.  He was tall, so tall that I could feel his long hard erection pressing against the small of my back.  My breath hitched but I tried to play it cool, still fiddling with the food, I tried ridiculously to pretend nothing unusual was happening, but I failed at even that.  Forgetting where I put the plate, where I put the spoon, he was reaching over my shoulder to help me sort the food.  I could sense a pleased smirk within his gentle few words helping me organize, he well knew I was spacing out because of him and it pleased him.  His assistance, surely by no accident, caused him also to press in even harder and in response, I took an almost imperceptible step back further into his body.  I wanted so badly to just wiggle myself back into him, I wanted it so badly but I knew I shouldn't.  I knew it was wrong but I WANTED him.

The food was now plated and in no danger of burning, which should mean that we would move over to the table to eat, but I couldn't move, I couldn't leave that warm pressure of him touching me.  I was shutting down now, my head was spiraling, the conflict between what I knew I should do and what I wanted was just too much.  So I just stood there not moving, not talking, my arms loose at my sides, I was frozen in place.  I knew it was starting to get really weird now, just standing there with no excuses and no words, but the time stretched on and all I knew was I did not want to lose this feeling, not even for a second.

And then I woke.  

The Election

I entered the large teared judicial room and realized that no seats were available.  I was told I would need to pay for a seat, the equivalent of just over $8.00 dollars.  I wryly thought about the irony of judicial systems everywhere and pulled out some money.  The paper money consisted of an ornately patterned roll of special paper that had many perforations in rows.  I would pull off little rectangless of the money to pay and one full strip of perforations off the side was called one 'wall.'

I was directed to one man of many black suited men sitting in a chair near the aisle.  Apparently he had the job of taking up the chair until someone paid him to leave.  I pulled off some money sections for him and proceeded towards the chair.

Later I found myself in a large room with long tables and seated individuals.  We were doing the counts for an election.  In front of me, a small man was seated, between us was a long table with some papers on it, and I stood in front of the table with one other person, a tall man.  People would come to us one by one and cast their vote.  Around us, other individuals were seated at other places amongst the tables doing the same thing but presumedly for other candidates.  The casting was done with some kind of ritual that involved rapping a wooden gavel on the table.  Voters would come to us one by one and me and the man seated across the table from me would do the quick ritual for each of them to cast the vote.  At one point, I was surprised that the gavel flipped off the table onto the floor and I had to pick it up and give it back to the seated man. 

Eventually there was a lull and I discussed with the tall man standing with me the counts and if we were done.  I was not sure of the actual counts, apparently that was not part of my job, and was not sure if we were done.  But he checked his paperwork and said it was 888, not sure if that was the expected or the actual count but had the impression the two numbers were expected to be very close to each other.  We briefly discussed past election gigs and counts we had done.  Now that the expected number for this one had been reached and no further voters were coming to us, we could say our work was done, even though around us, others were still seated.

At that point, a female official came up to us and told me that she had to investigate any 'irregularities.'  I said with surprise, "You mean the gavel falling on the floor?" and she said yes. but assured me that it was a minor thing and probably not a big deal, just that her job involved involved investigating even the tiniest issues to be on the safe side and insure accuracy.   I felt reassured and then the dream ended.  

What would it mean to get married?

Another dream, I walk with him on the deck of the boat.  He bids me sit on a wooden bench and he sits beside me, dark hair, sparkling eyes, and a pure white formal uniform with many buttons which reminds me vaguely of a military uniform.  As we sit, I suddenly suspect what he wants and I become afraid.  I realize he wants to ask me to marry him, a marriage of promise made with red blood that will completely bind us for the entirety of my life.  Divorce would not be an option.  I feel he is a good man and I don't want to disappoint him.  I feel that I SHOULD be ready to marry him, that he deserves it and I owe it to him.  But the more I think about it, the more afraid I become.  I don't want to say no, but I feel that I really only just met him and that I barely know him.  It's too soon, it's too soon!  The more I think about it, the more I don't want to do it.  At least not yet.

Standing in front of us as we sit, an observer looks down at the two of us and tells me that if in my mind I do not want it, then it can't happen no matter what I say out loud.  Therefore it's already over, I have already said no even though I had not exactly meant to do so.  We will not get married, at least not now.  I feel saddened but even more so, I feel relieved.  I think about what a wonderful boyfriend I have and how much I like him.  I hang on his arm.  That's good enough for now.  End of dream.

The White Trees and Superman Story

A strange dream, not entirely realistic but interesting to me because it had a story line:

Me and some friends road on top of a slow moving training that snaked peacefully through a beautiful parklike country side of low grass and tall willowy trees with white trunks.  At some point, I and a few others jumped off and lost track of the train.  We were walking along looking for the train when suddenly something grabbed us from behind and plucked us into the air.  Seconds later, we were dangling 3 stories high in the air near one of the trees, completely bewildered and confused.

We began to debate what had happened.  My friends had some ideas about maybe it was UFOs.  My argument was that it had to be that one of the trees that had grabbed us, but the others thought this was ridiculous.

"But how then are we still dangling now without falling unless the tree is grabbing us?" I asked.  They had no answer.

Eventually we were put down and scurried on our way, still not in agreement about what had happened but in a hurry to get away from whatever it was.  After a while of continued wandering, I began to inspect the trees and noticed many of them had a double trunk on the bottom, almost as if they had legs.  The more I looked at them, the more lifelike they seemed.  Then I spied a tree that looked like a humanoid, with two long trunk legs, two arm like large branched and an upright branch at the top where the head would have been.  It's bark was white and peeling and it had few leaves or side branches, just a few twigs.  It stood in a stooped crouched position and when it realized I was staring, it loped away from sight before I could point it out to the others.  Now I felt confident the trees were alive and animate but since they had not really hurt us previously, although I was wary of them, I did not feel great fear.  We continued on and found our way back home to civilization which is where the next part of the story begins.

In this part, I was working together with a super hero type person to defeat an evil villain.  I have no name for the super hero so I will for the sake of the story call him Superman.  The villain had been thus far kicking our butt.  Superman was not strong enough.  I and a few others who knew Superman had been working with him to defeat the villain using various strategies but none had worked and we were in dire straights.  Eventually, the villain had found my house when I wasn't home and had destroyed the inside, breaking apart much of my furniture.  We then quickly moved to rented place and continued on.

Soon after, I went off to work on the villain project and when I came home, the new place also was also broken up inside.  Now I was really scared.  How did the villain find my hideout so quickly when I had gone through such pains to keep it hidden?  If he could do that, there was no place for us to hide.  We knew the villain would be back any minute and so Superman and I and a few cohorts prepared a last stand against him.

When he came, he quickly defeated Superman and as Superman lay unconscious, we feared for our lives and all humanity.  He could easily kills us at any second, but then I began the last ditch backup plan.  As the villain stood outside the house in a location I had planned in advance, hidden machines around him zapped him from all directions and split him into 8 different individuals.

At this time, I recalled back to the creation of the villain.  It was time for the back story.  It had all started with the animate trees back in the park.  Scientists had studied them and were able to extract the spark of life from one of the trees.  The spark was then isolated and the end result was a terrible powerful creature that had become the villain.  Now I had no way of destroying the villain's spark of life but I could split him into parts, although with little idea of the outcome other than that his power would also be split into parts.

After the zapping, I watched as 8 young boys with dark hair now stood where the villain once had been.  They were all dressed similarly in dark clothes and looked to be about 8 or 10 years old.  Their personalities seemed much changed from the villain and 6 of them immediately moved away in different directions and soon were out of sight.  Two stayed for a short while, one slightly taller and appearing older than the other and the taller one, did all the talking.  Curious but nervous, I approached and spoke with him.  I asked him how he was and what his plans were.  I knew I was taking a great risk because even at only 1/8 of his original power, he could easily destroy me. Superman also still lay unconscious and vulnerable.  The taller boy acted as if I were a stranger and said, "We will need this lantern," and also indicated a need for a few other utilitarian items and so took them without asking.  I did not argue.  He seemed to speak more towards his younger cohort than me.  Then they also left the area and disappeared into the world.  I hoped that they would not cause trouble but if some of them did, once Superman recovered, he would at least be able to handle them one at a time now with their power thus split.

After the commotion, the police had arrived and were inspecting the damage to the inside of my home, trying to figure out what had happened.  During the fight, the house had been further devastated and everything was broken, scattered, and strewn.  Me and my cohorts needed to make an excuse to get inside and recover the body of Superman which was under a guise so that regular people could not see him.  The police let us in hoping to get some clues from us about what had happened but we gave only vague answers that were not useful.  Once in, some of us distracted the police while others of us got Superman's body.  Superman would recover.  It was a partial victory for us but we did not know what kinds of creatures the 8 children would become or what the future would hold.  We could only hope that the future would be brighter.                    

The Horse and the Rider

This dream happened about a month ago so I will back date it to that time.  It occurs to me now that it may related to the dream that came after it, the one about Superman being prone and unconscious, so I want this dream to show in front of that one in it's proper order (hence the backdating).

I am out galavanting around doing this and that, I know not what, when someone reminds that I have been neglecting my horse which I left back there and that I have to go back and take care of it.  Oh yeah, now I remember!  So I rush back to the city where he is in and find him on a piece of grass in a parking lot in a strip mall.  He is standing there placidly but I remember that he (she?) is pregnant and should be due any time.  I need to help him prepare.   He stands relaxed as if nothing is happening but I know the birth is taking place.  He is giving birth but now suddenly I am also giving birth, something opens up inside me, I kind of spiritual vortex and hole and I can feel something rushing out of me.  It happens very suddenly, such a very strange feeling, not like a physical birth at all.

Then I am standing there looking at a giant 2 foot tall 5 foot wide pile of excrement and blood laying on the grass.  It is disgusting and I know it is the side effect of giving birth.  I am embarrassed by it and quickly grab a garbage bag and somehow quickly cover/scoop it into the bag very easily.  Now it is cleaned and I can relax but then I remember the baby!  I turn to the horse but it stands there just the same as if nothing had happened.  Beside it is the calf laying curled and quiet on the grass.  At first, I am sad because I think the calf is still and dead!  But then I look more carefully and realize although it does not move, inside it is a type of hidden movement, something that is hard to see but is stirring and flickering and pawing and will continue to stir more and more and until the calf too will eventually start to move on the outside as well as on the inside.  But for now it's just a shadow of movement and a hidden stirring.  I am relieved by this and realize this is how it is supposed to be.  In the future, the calf will move when it is time. 

Yokubou

I was at some kind of carnival or big event with my brother, but somehow we had gotten separated.  In my arms I carried my big white cat named "Yokubou."  In my mind, he was a cat but he was very big and in some ways rather dog like.  Sometimes I let him down to walk around a bit but then would gather him up again.  If he got out of my sight, I would become nervous and look for him and call him, "Yokubou! Yokubou!"  This happened several times but I thought to myself at least he was well mannered and had not caused any trouble.  Whereas around me I could see dogs running free and tearing up the place, knocking things over and causing disruption, because their owners were not looking out for them properly.

Eventually, I began to look for my brother and eventually found him in one of the rooms.  We walked together for a while and then he met someone he knew.  The other person asked who I was and I told him jokingly that the one I was with was FORCED to play the role of my brother.  I could tell my brother thought this joke was quite funny on many levels.

Later I was by myself again with Yokubou late at night on the street where I saw a man threatening to punch another man in the face for some perceived little slight.  I told the threatening man if he was gong to do that, I was going to call 911, and I fumbled for my phone but became confused on where I had put it.

Then there was a brief break and I was in another street nearby and those 2 men and others were coming out of a bar.  They were all very friendly and at ease now and I greeted them with surprise because their attitude had become so different.

Between us on the street I saw a huge 5 foot wide ornate metal man hole cover.  The manhole cover was somehow attracting metal and other items towards it, as if it had some kind of magnetic power.  We would push items away from the cover and watch as the items moved back toward it again.  We thought this was very interesting and I wondered if it was some kind of secret government project.  We all decided to go down and investigate because it was so interesting.

Under the cover, there were complex surreal stairs and passages and crannies, as if done by a collaboration between Dr. Seuss and Escher.  We went down quite a ways and then the others decided to sit at a table and take a break.  At that time I realized I didn't know where Yokubou was and I became very nervous.  First I ran forward in the passages shouting, "Yokubou!  Yokubou!" I thought maybe he had gotten scared and ran ahead, but I did not find him.  Then I circled back past the guys at the table and then ran backwards shouting, "Yokubou!  Yokubou!!"  I thought maybe he had gotten scared and ran backwards.  I called his name over and over. 

Finally I found him and held him close to my chest with relief.  I returned to the guys and told them since I found him, all was OK.  But then I started worrying about Yokubou and wondered if we should go back for Yokubou's safety.  I was thinking I would let the others decide.  Then I woke up.

Online, I found that "Yokubou" is Japanese for "Desire/Lust."

Freaky Friday

Somehow, my consciousness had gotten into the body of a person I used to know when I was in high school.  His name was Lang, except now my mind was in his body instead of his.  I was tall now and I don't know if it was him or that I was not used to a tall man's body, but I was clumsy.   I tried to not move around too fast and I kept quiet because although I had tried to explain the situation to others, I figured they probably thought I was crazy or was just trying to fool them.  Since he was not even from my culture, I did not know how to act like him either, I couldn't even speak his language.  Walking along the path at school with Lang's friends, many of which I also knew when I was myself, I wondered how long this situation would last. 

Later at Lang's home, I was having even more trouble.  A family has its own pace.  Members instinctively know how to fit in and what to do.  The pace here was totally different than where I had grown up.  An old auntie was making fun of how I didn't apparently know how to use the dry erase board, but the pen had gone dry and was not marking sufficiently, how was that my fault I wondered?  I was irritated with her but I didn't say anything.  I had become a very quiet and depressed person.  I didn't know any of the people around me.  Although I had known many of Lang's friends as myself, their relationship with him was different and now I felt cut off from them. 

Thinking about it further, I realized sexually, I was still attracted to men even though I was a man now.  That would mean as a man, I would be a gay man, an added problem for fitting into society, and I didn't think Lang's family would handle it well either.  Looking around, the chairs seemed so small now and the room so closed in, I was a big man now and in comparison, everything seemed so much smaller.  I realized I would have to move out soon and live on my own.  I wasn't going to be able to fit in here.  It felt almost claustrophobic.

Someone came over to visit, he was an older African American, which confused me a bit because Lang's family was Asian.  The man teased me that I must have stayed up all night playing around if I was only now just waking up.  I said, "Why, what time is it?" and he said, "3:30PM."

I was shocked it could be so late!  So much so that I didn't believe him.  I roamed around the house looking for clocks and they verified what he said.  What did we do last night?  I couldn't remember.  But I realized I would be late getting products shipped by 5PM for work.  Today's buyers would have to wait until tomorrow for their items if I didn't hurry, but how to get to work?  Somehow I had gone from issues of a high schooler to work issues of the current time frame.  Where was I exactly?  I tried to think about work but couldn't even remember my vendors.  What if I couldn't source my product, how would I make my living?  I was getting more confused and anxious by the second.   I worked hard to convince myself it would work out somehow, just as it always does in the end. 

Then I woke up in my bed.  Still worried about time, I checked my clock but it was still early in the morning.  I was so relieved! 

The Real World

I woke up and saw rain on the window.  It was raining hard. I got up and looked out.  Behind the smudged window was a wide dirt road, wide enough for a 3 lane highway.  How did I get here?  The last thing I remembered was going to sleep in my bed, now I am here on this dirt road?  Cool!  It must be a lucid dream but yet it felt so real!  I was parked on the side of the road in this car I had been sleeping in.  I wondered if I was now stuck in the mud with all this rain.  I got out of the car to look around.  To the left, the road forked and there was another road about half the size of the main road.  Both roads were flat behind me but then suddenly angled steeply upward in front.  I wondered if the rain and mud would make that steep angle troublesome.  Right where the main road began to ascend, there was a big puddle of water and several cars splashed through it on their way down.  None of them got stuck.  I saw no plants or animals around, where was I?  I took a closer look at the vehicles driving by and realized they all looked old style, like Model T Fords and those kinds of very old vehicles.  I decided to get back into my car and get my keys out and lock it so I could look around, but as I did that, I could feel my consciousness changing. I was pulled back and woke up.

I was in a room.  In front of me was a tall lanky young African American man in casual clothes lounging on a couch joking with me.  His hair was starting to grow out, perhaps in a dreadlock style.  Behind the couch was a large smudged window.  I was standing in the room on an old musty brown carpet.  My head felt weird. I probed my head with my hands and it was covered with thick wooly feeling hair.  The texture felt strange and the feeling was like the hair was clinging to my head.  I wondered if I was African American too.  What was I doing here?  Then I woke up.

In front of me was a rain smudged window.  I heard a loud clicking noise.   A bird was repeatedly flying up and slamming it's claws against the window.  Ah yeah, the bird, it does that sometimes.  I jumped up, grabbed a piece of paper and waved it at the bird, chasing it off.  I was now on my feet, but disoriented.  But this was the real world this time.  I think...       

The Fiber Gods

I and three others were on a mission, similar to Star Trek, to explore this new world.  We had come down and were walking along a dirt road with a simple fence of old rickety looking black strung wire on the right.   A swampy lake lay just beyond the boundaries of the fence with the fence legs in water at many places. All around, lush leafy plants obscured vision, but for some reason did not grow at all in the dirt road, even though it looked unmaintained.  We took many measurements and pondered about the fence and what was beyond, but were not brave enough to venture beyond the road.

After about 5 hours, we decided to return.  All of us were nervous as usual when on a strange planet.  We had already been there for about 5 hours when I realized the lighting hadn't changed at all the entire time, an almost twilight kind of light as if the sun would soon set, but the high haze overcast skies would not let us see the sun or where it was at.  We could not determine the direction of the light source and pondered about the orbit and sun location.  One of my fellow travelers considered that if there were unusual day night patterns here, the computer back on the ship should surely have made a note of it in the briefing, but that had not happened.  He pondered for some time about the many areas of the briefing where such information should have come up but didn't. 

Another reason to always be on guard on strange planets!   Unexpected things often happened in such places and this place would soon prove itself not an exception.  On our way back, one of us taking samples along the lake edge, we could suddenly feel a rumbling and a strange kind of building of pressure in the ground.  We all stopped and waited and suddenly out of the lake in many places, plumes of super pressurized water shot straight up each pushing high into the air a clump of giant jagged boulders each several times larger than a man. 

Somehow, I ended up fallen down sitting on my butt and all of us had already been slightly scattered.  It was scary but the plumes we were all confined to the lake and we were basically uninjured.  But I was having trouble getting back up.  I realized my long spindly legs felt weak and a heavy pack on my back was weighing my down.  As I sat there trying to gather strength, two large grey beasts larger than elephants emerged from a small amount of water on the left unfenced side of the road.  The creatures looked like triceratops dinosaurs but with multiple sections of hard grey armor curved back over the head and shoulder region and no horns.  One was larger than the other one and they moved together as a pair.  

I knew I could not escape so I decided to remain perfectly still.  Their small rheumy eyes indicated to me likely bad vision and I hoped that lack of movement would lessen the chances of an aggressive response.  Luckily the creatures seemed oblivious by my presence and turned and moved calmly up the road even past some of my coworkers who were also holding still along the sides of the road.

Crisis past, we gathered again and realized we ourselves had actually created the water explosions.  We realized the fence was designed to block accidental dropping of heavy items into the lake but one of my coworkers had unknowingly disturbed the ground enough on that side to trigger the event.  Nerves running higher, we were eager to return.  I soon found myself lunging along a narrow path pushed through tropical plants and grasses.  My gait was a strange kind of sideways angled leaping and landing, as if my legs were half frog, long thing with large feet.  With the huge pack on my thin body, I could only run this way but it was effective.  The others followed behind me and for whatever reason, I have no recollection of having looked directly at the others at any time or what they looked like.   

However, we were surprised on our way back to run into buildings and civilization.  The large rectangle buildings of what looked like cement or stone were dwellings.  Even though eager to get back, we didn't want to pass up this opportunity, I in particular.  We talked with one of the residents and she said her relative would be willing to allow us to access to one of the dwellings.  My coworkers were hesitant but I decided it would be worth the risk and agreed to it.

We entered through andordinary rectangle door and were surprised by the setup.  The first room of the home was ordinary airspace, a nice room but rather dark inside with sparse furnishings.  But all the rooms beyond that were some kind of virtual reality rooms.  A slight shimmer in the air marked the boundaries between real and virtual.  Intrigued, I and one other walked through the virtual rooms.  It all felt completely real except for the slight shimmer and an extra crisp look to the edges of everything, as if one's vision had improved.  Unlike the entry room these rooms were also well lit with lots of grey colors predominating.  Furniture and fashion matched across the virtual rooms.  I spent some time admiring a long low coffee table type piece that looked like many intricate strips of different stained wood had been shaped and then put together. I repeatedly ran my hands over the top of it, feeling the perfect realness of the texture and admiring the realism of the satin shine finish work of the wood.  It seemed perfectly real.

As I walked through the virtual rooms, I was struck by how small they seemed, usually not more than about 13 feet in length or smaller and there were only a few of them, a kitchen area and several others.  I also advised the captain of our group that he should wait in the entry room and allow us other other two to explore the virtual rooms first and then when we were done, we would wait in the entry room and the other two could explore.  The captain's safety was the most important after all.  But I noticed after a while that he had gone off to explore anyway.  Figuring the danger was minimal anyway, I shrugged it off.

After a while I found myself sitting down for a quick interview with the head of the dwelling.  I saw him as a maybe 60 year old Caucasian man with hawkish features and longish slicked back silver hair wearing a well fitted silver jacket/suit ensemble.  Sitting in a chair, he seemed friendly and amiable and I felt relaxed.  We chatted and I began to ask questions.

I asked him who had created all this and he said it was the Five Fiber Gods.  He said he had never met them and it could be that they didn't even exist but that is what they say.  Then he amended that there used to be only 4 Fiber Gods but just recently a fifth one had been added.  I was surprised to hear of the apparent recent alteration to what I had at first assumed was long standing legend only.

So I asked him how does one become a Fiber God and here the difficulties of cross cultural communication became evident as I struggled to understand as best I could.  His style of communication seemed to jump from one idea to the next and that tendency was increased now.  The ideas he communicated were that it had something to do with the brain, that once you were dead that you had no more need of your body so it was just an empty vessel, something about computers or some such, and that he had more chance of eventually meeting the Fiber Gods than anyone else here, an idea he was mildly proud of.   The concepts were fascinating and I struggled to glean what I could.

And then I woke up!  (arg)               

Ribbon Realm of Black and White

There were two of us.  One was me, of course, but the other one was also me, somehow.  We were both me yet somehow also separate from each other and we were on a mission.  First was a briefing in which it was explained I was to retrieve myself from other worlds where I had gotten stuck in the past.  Apparently, I had gone to many worlds and in about 4 or 5 of those worlds or realms, I had gotten stuck and never came back.  I was still there even now and so I had to go and get myself out.   I remember thinking that 4 or 5 worlds wasn't too bad and I was happy that the number of retrievals still needed did not seem overly high.  I felt like I had been doing quite well to only have 4 or 5 stuck worlds!  The concept of me being stuck places but also having two of me here reminded me fleetingly of a really complex Dr. Who (a TV show about a time traveler) plot line.

After the briefing, I found myself looking at a barely visible natural looking scenery, similar to a wilderness scene at night.  Water seemed nearby like a river, but it was difficult to see clearly.  Overlaid on top of the scene as if a computer resided directly in my brain, was computer style writing and information, and at the top middle of my vision was a photo style image of a middle aged man with a slightly thin face and a friendly smile.  He was the one who needed retrieval but apparently was also somehow 'me.' 

The next thing I knew, I was traveling in a vehicle that reminded me vaguely of a horse drawn cart.  The movement was slow and methodical and someone else was driving it.  I spent my time sitting on top and looking out over the scenery, but it was dark and I was having trouble making it out clearly.  I concentrated.

Slowly, my vision became clearer but as it did, my field of vision shrank to a long thin horizontal ribbon, maybe 1/5 the normal width (which would really be height) that one would normally see as a human.  In addition, the range of sight was wider to the sides of my head than would normally be possible.  I got the impression that the narrowing of visual concentration would assist in perception. 

Slowly, I began to perceive more clearly patterns of light and dark reminiscent of trees and shadow.  Everything was black and white, shadow and light, moving this way and that, reminding me of things on Earth but not quite really anything you could put into words.  There were things there, many things that were like a natural environment similar to our forest and country side scenes, yet they were not exactly that either.  As my vision enhanced, I saw all parts of the scene as either black or white.  There was no grey.  A particular area where a slightly triangular area of white rhythmically shifted back and forth amongst the black particular caught my attention.

Slowly, a feeling of overwhelming awe and beauty built inside me. This place contained more beauty than I had ever seen before.  It was exquisite.  Intense emotion overwhelmed me.  I felt as if I was crying from the intense emotion, but that the concept of crying was just a description of what the emotional effect of the place was yielding in me.  It was the most beautiful place ever seen. 

Suddenly, I snapped awake in my own bedroom.  My physical body was not crying at all, to my surprise, but I did suddenly feel like I needed to pee.  I got up and realized I also had something that my mind immediately wanted to call 'a hard on' even though I am a female and such would not actually be possible.  There was an intense pleasurable sexual feeling emanating from just outside my body about where testicles would be if I were to have them.  It was very pleasant.  I was stumbling to the bathroom half asleep trying to think about how weird it all was.  When I got to the bathroom, I was further confused by the fact that only a little pee was actually present for release.  My body does not usually send false signals in that regard but it had this time.  I had not actually needed to pee but had only felt like I did.  Afterwards, the feeling of needing to pee as well as the feeling of the 'hard on' were both gone. 

I went back to bed, thought about it for a while, and then fell asleep.  I wonder if I failed my mission?       

 

City in the Valley, Reverse Dream

Often I hike on high trails along a nearby mountainside.  The other day, I was hiking along in an interesting kind of mood when I looked far down below me at the many houses in a small valley area, and I felt like scoffing.

"What kind fool builds their cities in totally unprotected valleys!?!"  I thought to myself!

"Surely they must realize how dangerous it is.  Then it occured to me, they must live in a time of unparalelled peace and prosperity to even consider a stunt like that!  Even those small peaks, as low as they are, would offer at least some protection from invasion and attack, and would be the logical place to build, but instead they have actually built their homes in the very depths of the valley!  Unbelievable!"

Then I shook my head and remembered building in the valleys is normal and everyone does it.  Or least that is what they do here.   

The Moon is TOO SMALL! Another Reverse Dream?

The other day, I was in the parking lot of some strip mall when out of the corner of my eye I saw the moon, a huge big beautiful glowing milky smooth thing, about 7 times larger than it usually looks. Instantly, a huge wave of primal relief and joy washed through me.  Finally, my big beautiful moon!  I was home at last!

Then I turned my head and realized it was just a big round white lighted sign for some restaurant.  Disappointment!  I have always felt the moon, the real moon that is, was just too small.  While other people have gazed up and commented on how beautiful and large the moon is, I can't help but inwardly scoff.  I  have always felt there is just something wrong with that little bitty marble they call the moon.  It's way too damned small!  But it wasn't until I mistook that restaurant sign for the moon, that sign that was big and beautiful like the real moon should look like, that I realized the depth of that feeling.  It is a true longing, but for what I don't really understand.     

His Name was Air Ice

I was somewhere on the side of a hill in a dry desert chaparral area when I saw a large dust devil or small tornado.  I became fascinated.  Logically, I knew it was big enough to be potentially dangerous, but I approached anyway, slowly and cautiously.  As I approached, the spinning action seemed to intensify until it really did look like a small but intense tornado, maybe 3 feet across.  I felt fear but still I did not run.

After a short while of watching, the tornado straightened and stayed in one place and I continued to stare at it, fascinated, wondering which direction it would lead next.  I wanted to investigate it but not actually get run over by it.  But how to predict a tornado!

I continued to watch, and as it stayed in one place, very straight and powerful now, I had a strange and illogical feeling that it was actually watching me too!  The feeling intensified and eventually I allowed that the tornado might be sentient in some way and it seemed that it was also curious.  It had a powerful intensity of watchfulness to it.   

Then the tornado disappeared and in its place was a very handsome man.  I knew the man was another manifestation of the tornado, but still I could not help but appreciate the appearance of the man.  He was about 5'10" white, medium build, well muscled, about 23, with strange fine white medium length (for a man) hair and a relaxed confident air.  Except for his hair and extreme handsomeness, he looked very normal.  He wore jeans with a leather belt and no shirt, as he stood calmly and observed me.  I had the sudden idea that his name was "Air Ice," which seemed a very cool and profound name at the time.

He was very handsome but I knew he was also the tornado and still felt some threat from him.  On his side, I felt he wanted to convey to me that he was still a threat and would attack me.  I tried to maintain confidence and think of ways to defend myself, although I could think of nothing in particular.  Soon his attack came and it was like something was wrapping around my legs.  Planning to fight my way out, I looked down and his legs were wrapping around my legs as if they were snakes.  I planned to pull them off but Air Ice made it known that his legs were infinitely stretchy and long and could not be defeated.  I glared at him and this time I saw that while his body position was still the same, his legs were actually missing as they were instead now attacking me instead of being under him.  Only his upper body 'stood' there now looking calmly at me, apparently not need the legs for actual support, but instead just hanging there in midair.  I stopped fighting the sinuous legs knowing he spoke the truth, that they could not be fought.  For whatever reason, I believed what he said, but at the same time somehow I maintained illogical confidence that I would win anyway, even though I did not know how.  I was defiant.

Then his attack stopped, his 'legs' returned to the rest of his body, and the sense of threat from him stopped.  We talked as friendly acquaintances a little bit about a few things, but I can't remember what now.  But I do not have the feeling it was about anything super exciting.  Then he left and as he was walking away, I got the sudden feeling/insight that he was a guide.

Perhaps the main lesson here was to have confidence in your success even if you can't yet see how you will accomplish it.    

3 Weird Dreams, Likely Symbolic, Probably Boring

Two nights ago, I alternated between 3 dreams repeatedly.  I imagine they probably meant something as they were each very intense, but what they may mean is open to interpretation and as well, they may mean many things on many levels. I'm writing them here so I won't forget.  Ironically, I can't remember which dream came first so I will just go from least interesting to the really weird one at the end. 

I was at a school, somewhat similar to my old elementary school, and walking around outside on a busy street similar to a busy street that was in front of my old elementary school.  There was some issue about directions and catching the bus and getting home or getting somewhere. I was on the corner waiting and a bit confused.  Then a bicycle rode by without any rider.  It was moving by itself, which even in a dream, I thought rather odd and interesting, so I chased it down and grabbed it. 

Between the handle bars, instead of a person, was stretched something that looked like fabric, white in the back with a dark patch in the middle.  I interpreted it to be some kind of symbol or sign that gave information.  I spent some time studying the bicycle and wondering why/how it could move by itself.  I jumped between the other dreams and this dream of the bicycle a few times, repeating parts of it several times, until in the last segment of the episode, I concluded that the bicycle was some kind of fundraising vehicle that was sent out on automatic to gather funds for a project.  It even seemed like I had found some kind of written note to that effect somewhere in a small area of the stretched white fabric.  It occured to me that if that was the case, then I should then let the bicycle go on about its way now that it was 'explained' and its purpose was somewhat important. 

The 2nd ongoing dream also had me in a school, but it seemed more like how my old kindergarten school used to be.  All the other kids were in the classroom studying but I felt like that stuff they were learning was boring and too easy and I knew that stuff anyway, so I elected to stay outside and follow around a teacher that was doing something outside, even though on some level I felt that was kind of a bad lazy thing to be doing. 

The teacher was walking around the building doing this and that and I was basically tagging along and chatting a bit.  Then he said he had figured out a new shape for a knife that was different than the old shape and that he hoped it might work better.  He seemed excited about the new idea.  The new shape was a bit rounder near the hilt and longer and thinner at the tip.  He had me stick out my leg, which was bare, and he scraped the knife along the leg at some black squiggly things on the leg that looked like hair, but they did not seem to be affected by the knife.  Then he scraped harder at one and it seemed to become more exposed and easy to see, but it would not scrape away.  He seemed disappointed that the new design did not work better and that we would just have to continue on at the same rate as previously and that was OK too.  This dream too, kept jumping in and out with parts repeating, until finally the end with new knife and then the dream ended for good. 

The last dream, the last segment of which was the last dream I had before waking, involved a room that was reminiscent of several of my old bedrooms with white furniture.  At first, water was attempting to rush out of a big cracked and mangled corner of the room.  Water would rush and seep through mangled cracks, but a large box was stuck in the crack.  There was much consternation by someone that was around that this thing/box was stuck and being stuck was bad.  Who was the upset person?  I did not feel, ironically, that it was me, just someone around the area at first as if there was someone just out of my visual field.  Also, I had a vague impression of some kind of wailing or groaning made by someone, and that the water was contaminated and the walls were being rotted and contaminated by the process.

Next was several segments in which the water appeared to be going the opposite direction, this time rushing in from the crack.  The water seemed fairly clean and there was only a little bit of staining around the edges of the mangled wall parts.  I remember watching many times as water came in through these cracks and fissures in the wall and I got the impression that it was overall a good thing. 

Then finally, I looked behind me to see the rest of the room.  There on the other side of the room was a giant humanlike fetus thing.  It was basically human shaped but about 3 or 4 times too big to have been of a human.  It was also like part flesh and part skeleton as if the flesh part was not done yet and in some places, like on the hands, the skeleton was still exposed because the concept of the flesh was not fully formed.  Or like the flesh was more of a concept superimposed over a different structure underneath.  It was creepy looking and there was a kind of wailing or moaning coming from the area around it.  It thrashed in a strange relaxed way and light and mist seemed to swirl and flicker around it.  For some reason, I kept looking at the hands where the flesh concept didn't quite cover over the skeletons fingers.  Then I woke up.      

The Place That Sounds Like Aum

For much of my life, I considered the whole concept of sitting cross legged with a few fingers pinched together chanting 'ohm,' or 'aum' to be really rather quite a silly thing altogether. Sometimes tradition can get rather weird and I could see no benefit to making such a pose and speaking such a noise. The concept of meditation itself made some potential sense to me but many of the trappings did not. Therefore, I doubt I had even once seriously considered that the sound 'aum' might have any significance whatsoever. To me, it was just some silly tradition.

Then one night something changed. Sometime in my early 30s I think it was, I had a weird dream experience. In the dream, I was at a place where there was a deep intense vibration. The vibration penetrated everything, and although intense, it was also strangely relaxing. It made you want more of it. In a way, the vibration was the experience but yet it was so much more than just a mere sound. Somehow, it was all the sounds of 'ohm' at once, the 'o' sound and the 'm' sound as well, all at once constantly. And forever and always was/is.

In this place/experience, I somehow just KNEW that this place, this ohm thing, was the foundation, the underneath of everything, it was that which was underlying all things. It was the underpinnings. I saw in my mind a kind of flat plane that goes on forever and a kind of gridwork that spreads out across space. The plane was flat yet it also slightly pulsed and vibrated. But I suspect this was just my conceptualization of it but not particularly how it might actually look, if it even has any real appearance to it such that light waves project to us here on Earth. I saw and experienced this for a while, and then I woke up.

Since that day, I have a new found respect for 'Aum.' Later research on the internet showed me that Aum is sometimes called 'the Primordial Vibration.' That seems a good name for it, although my only quibbling dislike about those words is that they in some ways imply that the Aum is in the past. I am sure that is not right. The Aum place is definitely in the now. I am sure it is down there right now underneath everything. You just can't quite remember it right now, but if you were to shift your consciousness just so, then you would remember it again.

In some traditions, aum is considered symbolic of this or that or whatever. I found I wanted to totally ignore all that talk. To me, Aum is the sound of that place/time/experience that underlies all things. It seems now obvious to me the word Aum is used because that is the sound you hear when you are there. There is so much more to that place/time/experience but perhaps the sound is the easiest for a couple of simple little Earth based brain cells to understand. Most of the rest of the Aum experience/place either can't really be understood well by the Earth brain cells or can't easily be put into words. I am sure that others have gone to that place/experience as well and they heard the same thing as me and Aum is such the obvious name for that place that many of them likely called it the same thing. They knew this sound was important somehow, this primordial vibration called Aum.

Personally, I don't know if actually chanting the sound really has much impact. Making the sound is not the same thing as that place. Or maybe the replicated sound could carry the tiniest little fraction of that place, a tiny influence on the psyche or a tiny reminder of what is underneath. A tiny of fraction of a very powerful thing could actually be more than a tiny thing after all.  In that way, maybe it does have some effect. And maybe you get more of whatever you focus on, even if your focus is dim. And maybe it will work if you believe it will work because belief itself has incredible power. So believe on! , all you folks who believe. Because belief has power and now that I've been there, That Place That Sounds Like Aum is, imo, a pretty darned cool place indeed!

Reverse dream II

Last month, I had another example of a weird memory that doesn't belong in this world. Perhaps it can all be blamed on the fever. I had the flu for several days and was feverish and tired. I was moving from a lit room into the dark bathroom when it occured. As I shut the bathroom door behind me, I didn't bother to turn on the bathroom lights. Because I 'knew' that the house technology would automatically turn on the lights in any room that I entered. Except it didn't work and I was left standing in the dark. At first, I was surprised to see the system had not worked properly. Such failures are rare and I wasn't sure what to do about it. Then I realized, "Oh yeah, it doesn't work like that here, you have to turn on the lights yourself. Silly me!" Where did I get that weird memory from? It's not something I have ever experienced in this world.