Back Again!

He came back again this morning! Or at least I think it was him. I was sleeping and I felt someone touching my back, a rather probing and experimental touch, as if he was checking on something or trying to do something, touching here and there, but not particularly sexual in nature. I was half asleep but did recognize that 'it' was happening again and that 'it' probably was that dream lover guy again. Then I lay there and wondered if I would see him more clearly like last time. It was an interesting experience also in that I was actually laying on my back, but yet I could feel him touching my back, as if the physical existance of the bed was irrelevant.

But I totally forgot how I had learned to materialize him last time and I forgot all the long list of questions I had for him! Instead, I just lay there like a lump on a log doing nothing. Duh! Eventually, the touching stopped and some time later, I woke up. And I could have just kicked myself!

Dream Lover #2

I was asleep on a large bed in a room with other large beds (not where I sleep in waking life). A woman came to me and asked me if she and her boyfriend could share my bed. I said, "Sure, why not?" It seemed like the polite thing to do. She said, "Thank you." I slept for a while. Eventually, I realized I was curled up at the end of the bed, essentially hogging that whole end. I wondered if the others would want to stretch out. If so, they could not while I was taking the whole end. I asked the woman if they wanted to stretch out because if so, I would take one side instead of one end. She said sure. Some time passed and I drifted into another slightly different state of consciousness.

Then I realized there was a hand on my stomach. I knew it was a man's hand, and I liked it, but I could barely feel it. By now, I had forgotten all about any previous exchanges with the woman. I only thought about what was happening right at that second, which seemed sudden and spontaneous to me. And pleasing. But I was not sure how to make the feeling stronger. I wondered if it was my imagination at times. Or a dream. Then I had the sudden idea to just stop questioning if it was real or hoping it was real and just IMAGINE it was real. So I imagined the hand was really there.

Immediately, the man materialized next to me, accompanied by a sort of slurping sound as the image came together, starting with the hand and quickly spreading to the rest of him. I was shocked. It had never happened this way before. No one had ever actually materialized like that before and it was so easy and sudden! I was excited and the man looked excited. He was muscular and good looking and seemed very pleased with himself and me.

He immediately introduced himself by saying cordially, "My name is Derek Miller." My mind was spinning a mile a minute now with questions and excitement. But in the back of my head, I remembered that name. That was the name of a boy I once knew in early childhood. And somehow I knew this guy in front of me was not that guy from my childhood. I figured the one here now must have pulled the name from my memory in order to have some name to give me.

Excitedly, I asked the man in front of, "How do I do that again?" meaning the materialization.

He answered, "All you have to do is miss me less." This confused me as I was not aware of missing anyone, certainly not a man I did not think I knew in the first place. I thought about what happened and how I decided to use my imagination. I did't think I had ever tried that method before and rationalized that maybe when he said "don't miss me," he meant something like assume he was there instead of missing him. Anyway, I felt like I knew enough to do it again, even if I didn't entirely understand his statement.

I leaned forward now so I was on top of him and his legs were around me. I am not sure exactly what we are doing. It was not exactly sex but we seemed to be naked and the feeling was that warm fuzzy nice feeling like sex can give you. Questions flooded my mind and I said, "Oh my god so who are you and why did you come here?"

He answered, "Someone, a lady, told me you had nothing to do."

I asked, "So how did you get here?"

He answered, "It was the dilithium dilithium."

Incrediously, I blurted out "You mean like on STAR TREK?!!!" Now I was getting really suspicious that he was pulling stupid stuff out of my head. Dilithium is a fictitious power source on the Star Trek TV show series. He could't possibly expect me to believe THAT!

But he continued on despite my objections saying, "Something about the dilithium dilithium-When we encountered the dark star crystal, it ran out of something underneath." I could see him concentrating as he was trying to find the words to explain this and he did not appear to take note of my skepticism. His answer came out slowly and I had time to ask one more question as he was still speaking.

I asked him again, "So who are you?" And then I snapped suddenly awake in my waking world bed, laughing and confused. I was excited to finally have a conversation with some kind of apparent entity. But yet his answers seemed far from satisfying and enlightening. But apparently, I learned something. Apparently, in order to speak to these kinds of creatures, they seem to need some help from my end. They seem to need me to believe they are already there in order for me to see them, or at least that is how I interpret it.

I had never tried this before, but had many times wondered why others have reported speaking to guides and I have never been able to do so. Maybe this is why. Because they need a bit of help from my end and I have never before given that help in the form of believing. The entity I spoke with did not seem to be just a mere thoughtform, an empty boring shell of a creature that does not speak and never surprises. This one did surprise and often confuse me. Yet, the answers could easily have all come from my imagination.

I got out of bed and immediately wrote everything down so I would not forget later. And the next day, I did a google on dilithium and found there really is a thing called dilithium and that it is a molecule consisting of two lithium atoms. Ironically, lithium ions have been found to help regulate mood swings but I couldn't find much especially about dilithium itself. If I see this guy again, hopefully I will be able to get better and more interesting answers out of him! Or are they out of me?

[Addendum: Of note are similarities between this incident and the one described in the first Dream Lover post. Could this be the same couple and/or the same guy? Maybe. And now that I reread that, I remember that although I do not remember examining his face much, Dream Lover #2 had a European sounding accent. Wow, now how did I manage to forget that!]

Freudian Dreams

There I was sitting on the toilet ready to let loose. Suddenly pee was squirting everywhere. I had forgotten I was a man now! I was sitting down and the pee was coming out of an unexpected place and getting all over the place. I realized I had no idea where the muscle in this body was located that would cut off the stream of pee, if there even was one. I couldn't turn off the flow, so belatedly I attempted to bend the male organ to point between my legs and into the toilet, but this too met with only partial success. By the time it was over, I had made quite a mess of things and took a while to clean up.

Then I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. My blue jeans and dark blue sweater made my thick muscular body look less threatening. My face was of middling handsomeness, reminiscent vaguely of Jay Leno with a big chin and manly features. Although I had a naturally powerful body, I was mild mannered by nature.

I found myself thinking about the male organ and how it wasn't as simple to use as I would have assumed. But of course, most men had years learning how to use it from the time of birth. I would have to be much more careful next time, but I felt eventually I would become reasonably proficient.

However the bigger problem would be my own preference for men. Although I was in a male body now, after searching my feelings, I felt no corresponding changes in my sexual preferences. I wondered if over time, this new body would influence me in new ways, but if it didn't, my life could become difficult in some aspects. I looked into this mirror, I pondered this issue, until suddenly, I woke up.

The Scam

A nearly priceless collection of antique jewelry, now finally up for sale. This one piece especially, medallions of a hardened clay like substance with painted spiral designs strung into a necklace harking back from before history began, was an artifact that few in this world could afford to possess. In these hard times, an outgoing and charming middle aged couple, my patrons, finally had to sell some of their heirloom pieces. Or at least that is what they had been telling people.

I admired their technique, I really did. Even now, as their target couple walked towards the door, they acted nonchalant, but just as their victims were nearly gone, mumbling to eachother that it was a big purchase and they should discuss it with their family first, one of my patrons whispered loudly to the other that it was fine because that OTHER lady had been quite interested in that piece as well and would be visiting later in that same day. My patron's delivery was so perfect and so well timed, as if she had only been whispering to her husband and it was only an accident that her whisper had been just barely audible to the other couple. Of course the other couple immediately hesitated at the doorway.

"Well now wait a minute.." said our victim as she started to turn back towards my patrons. At that, I knew the hook had been sunk. It was only a matter of time now for them to be reeled in. And it would be weeks if not years before they ever found out that the priceless artifact they bought at a bargain price was actually a forgery, done by a skilled artisan of course, but in much more modern times. By that time, my patrons and I would have long since moved on.

My work here was done. I had made the flawless fakes and acted the part of the knowledgeable expert and my patrons had used their connections and certificates of authenticity from the true originals to scam millions off of their victims. I had already recieved my percentage of payment for most of those sales. This sale was the only one left, but I would not be waiting around for my payment.

I knew my patrons would be busy now making their final pitch and milking those last few dollars off of these last juicy victims. Meanwhile, I took that time to make one last swap. One last forgery swapped for one last original and now it was time for me to make my hasty retreat. For I had made not just one forgery for each antique, but instead I had made two. One forgery went to the buyers and, although my patrons had not yet realized it, the other forgery had been given back to my patrons. My patrons thought they retained the originals, but instead I would end up with all of them. It would be weeks if not years before they ever found out, and by that time, I would have long since moved on..

Shadowmaker

I am lounging on the couch, watching tv, when a shadow moves across the wall behind the tv. I am startled and the shadow is soon gone. The sole source of light is in front of me an above me, a simple hanging light fixture. I quickly look between the light bulbs and the wall but I don't see anything. I am confused for a few seconds but blow it off and am soon back to watching tv.

Then it happens again. And again. And then one more time. The movement pattern of the shadow could best be described as a rapid floating pattern, too fast to be from wind or air in a closed room, but it moved in a slightly wavering up and down path, and would either turn off or disappear as it reached the console that the tv sits on top of. Each time, I inspected the situation more carefully, checking the air space, checking the light bulb for bugs, checking everything I can think of. The dog remains curled contentedly on the floor, barely taking note of my activities.

Eventually, I get up and attempt to replicate the shadow. From what I can tell, the source of the shadow must have been approximately fist sized and approximately half way between the light bulbs and the wall that cast the shadow. I have lived in this house approximately nine years now and but I'll be damned if I can explain that shadow.

A tree and a song

One tree on the edge of a field, it's branches spreading wide and tall, each branch carefully trimmed off on the ends, manecured to perfection. White bark like a birch tree and medium sized green leaves like a ficus, but this kind of tree is special, because in the hands of a true artist, and if trimmed well, then the wind as it flows throw the tree creates music, a melodic tinkling of sound that is unique to each tree and each artist. Now imagine a glade of these trees, each one sounding slightly different, each one trimmed to be in harmony with it's neighbors, the mind processing each sound as complimentary to the others, similar but just a shade different, as if a gentle kaleidescope of soft pastels on the edge of an endless sea of wheat colored grass. This is the dream I had.

The Long Road Home

I was on the train, my stuff all layed out in front of me on the table, when someone told me it was only a short distance before I needed to get off and make the connection to the last leg of the journey. I felt a bit panicky as I scrambled to get everything organized. If I didn't hurry, I would miss the connection! I remember struggling to concentrate so I could get it all back in order quickly. Then there was a brief pause. And then I woke up.

I have had these kinds of dreams innumberable times just before I wake in the morning. This morning, I dreamt I was on a train. But usually, I am either on a bus or rushing to jump onto one. Almost always, there is an issue of complex interchanges and connections that are easily missed and require considerable concentration. I worry that either my timing does not match the bus schedule, or the bus will not deposit me where I want to go. Or I fear I will become lost. Sometimes, I even pull out a map that shows pathways so complex that I would not be able to understand them in waking life.

The worst is if I am actually the one driving, because the car invariably moves me at insane speeds around sharp corners and strangely the spongy brake peddle barely works and the gas peddle seems stuck on 'too fast!' Add to that the fact that I can barely see the road ahead of me and I am surrounded by other cars! Then my main concern is just trying to stay on the road.

No matter which mode of transport, typically I am feeling nervous about making a mistake and thinking that I only have to catch one more connection, and then the next thing I know, I become conscious of lieing in my bed. Who would have thought it would be so complicated just to wake up!