The Real World

I woke up and saw rain on the window.  It was raining hard. I got up and looked out.  Behind the smudged window was a wide dirt road, wide enough for a 3 lane highway.  How did I get here?  The last thing I remembered was going to sleep in my bed, now I am here on this dirt road?  Cool!  It must be a lucid dream but yet it felt so real!  I was parked on the side of the road in this car I had been sleeping in.  I wondered if I was now stuck in the mud with all this rain.  I got out of the car to look around.  To the left, the road forked and there was another road about half the size of the main road.  Both roads were flat behind me but then suddenly angled steeply upward in front.  I wondered if the rain and mud would make that steep angle troublesome.  Right where the main road began to ascend, there was a big puddle of water and several cars splashed through it on their way down.  None of them got stuck.  I saw no plants or animals around, where was I?  I took a closer look at the vehicles driving by and realized they all looked old style, like Model T Fords and those kinds of very old vehicles.  I decided to get back into my car and get my keys out and lock it so I could look around, but as I did that, I could feel my consciousness changing. I was pulled back and woke up.

I was in a room.  In front of me was a tall lanky young African American man in casual clothes lounging on a couch joking with me.  His hair was starting to grow out, perhaps in a dreadlock style.  Behind the couch was a large smudged window.  I was standing in the room on an old musty brown carpet.  My head felt weird. I probed my head with my hands and it was covered with thick wooly feeling hair.  The texture felt strange and the feeling was like the hair was clinging to my head.  I wondered if I was African American too.  What was I doing here?  Then I woke up.

In front of me was a rain smudged window.  I heard a loud clicking noise.   A bird was repeatedly flying up and slamming it's claws against the window.  Ah yeah, the bird, it does that sometimes.  I jumped up, grabbed a piece of paper and waved it at the bird, chasing it off.  I was now on my feet, but disoriented.  But this was the real world this time.  I think...       

The Fiber Gods

I and three others were on a mission, similar to Star Trek, to explore this new world.  We had come down and were walking along a dirt road with a simple fence of old rickety looking black strung wire on the right.   A swampy lake lay just beyond the boundaries of the fence with the fence legs in water at many places. All around, lush leafy plants obscured vision, but for some reason did not grow at all in the dirt road, even though it looked unmaintained.  We took many measurements and pondered about the fence and what was beyond, but were not brave enough to venture beyond the road.

After about 5 hours, we decided to return.  All of us were nervous as usual when on a strange planet.  We had already been there for about 5 hours when I realized the lighting hadn't changed at all the entire time, an almost twilight kind of light as if the sun would soon set, but the high haze overcast skies would not let us see the sun or where it was at.  We could not determine the direction of the light source and pondered about the orbit and sun location.  One of my fellow travelers considered that if there were unusual day night patterns here, the computer back on the ship should surely have made a note of it in the briefing, but that had not happened.  He pondered for some time about the many areas of the briefing where such information should have come up but didn't. 

Another reason to always be on guard on strange planets!   Unexpected things often happened in such places and this place would soon prove itself not an exception.  On our way back, one of us taking samples along the lake edge, we could suddenly feel a rumbling and a strange kind of building of pressure in the ground.  We all stopped and waited and suddenly out of the lake in many places, plumes of super pressurized water shot straight up each pushing high into the air a clump of giant jagged boulders each several times larger than a man. 

Somehow, I ended up fallen down sitting on my butt and all of us had already been slightly scattered.  It was scary but the plumes we were all confined to the lake and we were basically uninjured.  But I was having trouble getting back up.  I realized my long spindly legs felt weak and a heavy pack on my back was weighing my down.  As I sat there trying to gather strength, two large grey beasts larger than elephants emerged from a small amount of water on the left unfenced side of the road.  The creatures looked like triceratops dinosaurs but with multiple sections of hard grey armor curved back over the head and shoulder region and no horns.  One was larger than the other one and they moved together as a pair.  

I knew I could not escape so I decided to remain perfectly still.  Their small rheumy eyes indicated to me likely bad vision and I hoped that lack of movement would lessen the chances of an aggressive response.  Luckily the creatures seemed oblivious by my presence and turned and moved calmly up the road even past some of my coworkers who were also holding still along the sides of the road.

Crisis past, we gathered again and realized we ourselves had actually created the water explosions.  We realized the fence was designed to block accidental dropping of heavy items into the lake but one of my coworkers had unknowingly disturbed the ground enough on that side to trigger the event.  Nerves running higher, we were eager to return.  I soon found myself lunging along a narrow path pushed through tropical plants and grasses.  My gait was a strange kind of sideways angled leaping and landing, as if my legs were half frog, long thing with large feet.  With the huge pack on my thin body, I could only run this way but it was effective.  The others followed behind me and for whatever reason, I have no recollection of having looked directly at the others at any time or what they looked like.   

However, we were surprised on our way back to run into buildings and civilization.  The large rectangle buildings of what looked like cement or stone were dwellings.  Even though eager to get back, we didn't want to pass up this opportunity, I in particular.  We talked with one of the residents and she said her relative would be willing to allow us to access to one of the dwellings.  My coworkers were hesitant but I decided it would be worth the risk and agreed to it.

We entered through andordinary rectangle door and were surprised by the setup.  The first room of the home was ordinary airspace, a nice room but rather dark inside with sparse furnishings.  But all the rooms beyond that were some kind of virtual reality rooms.  A slight shimmer in the air marked the boundaries between real and virtual.  Intrigued, I and one other walked through the virtual rooms.  It all felt completely real except for the slight shimmer and an extra crisp look to the edges of everything, as if one's vision had improved.  Unlike the entry room these rooms were also well lit with lots of grey colors predominating.  Furniture and fashion matched across the virtual rooms.  I spent some time admiring a long low coffee table type piece that looked like many intricate strips of different stained wood had been shaped and then put together. I repeatedly ran my hands over the top of it, feeling the perfect realness of the texture and admiring the realism of the satin shine finish work of the wood.  It seemed perfectly real.

As I walked through the virtual rooms, I was struck by how small they seemed, usually not more than about 13 feet in length or smaller and there were only a few of them, a kitchen area and several others.  I also advised the captain of our group that he should wait in the entry room and allow us other other two to explore the virtual rooms first and then when we were done, we would wait in the entry room and the other two could explore.  The captain's safety was the most important after all.  But I noticed after a while that he had gone off to explore anyway.  Figuring the danger was minimal anyway, I shrugged it off.

After a while I found myself sitting down for a quick interview with the head of the dwelling.  I saw him as a maybe 60 year old Caucasian man with hawkish features and longish slicked back silver hair wearing a well fitted silver jacket/suit ensemble.  Sitting in a chair, he seemed friendly and amiable and I felt relaxed.  We chatted and I began to ask questions.

I asked him who had created all this and he said it was the Five Fiber Gods.  He said he had never met them and it could be that they didn't even exist but that is what they say.  Then he amended that there used to be only 4 Fiber Gods but just recently a fifth one had been added.  I was surprised to hear of the apparent recent alteration to what I had at first assumed was long standing legend only.

So I asked him how does one become a Fiber God and here the difficulties of cross cultural communication became evident as I struggled to understand as best I could.  His style of communication seemed to jump from one idea to the next and that tendency was increased now.  The ideas he communicated were that it had something to do with the brain, that once you were dead that you had no more need of your body so it was just an empty vessel, something about computers or some such, and that he had more chance of eventually meeting the Fiber Gods than anyone else here, an idea he was mildly proud of.   The concepts were fascinating and I struggled to glean what I could.

And then I woke up!  (arg)               

Ribbon Realm of Black and White

There were two of us.  One was me, of course, but the other one was also me, somehow.  We were both me yet somehow also separate from each other and we were on a mission.  First was a briefing in which it was explained I was to retrieve myself from other worlds where I had gotten stuck in the past.  Apparently, I had gone to many worlds and in about 4 or 5 of those worlds or realms, I had gotten stuck and never came back.  I was still there even now and so I had to go and get myself out.   I remember thinking that 4 or 5 worlds wasn't too bad and I was happy that the number of retrievals still needed did not seem overly high.  I felt like I had been doing quite well to only have 4 or 5 stuck worlds!  The concept of me being stuck places but also having two of me here reminded me fleetingly of a really complex Dr. Who (a TV show about a time traveler) plot line.

After the briefing, I found myself looking at a barely visible natural looking scenery, similar to a wilderness scene at night.  Water seemed nearby like a river, but it was difficult to see clearly.  Overlaid on top of the scene as if a computer resided directly in my brain, was computer style writing and information, and at the top middle of my vision was a photo style image of a middle aged man with a slightly thin face and a friendly smile.  He was the one who needed retrieval but apparently was also somehow 'me.' 

The next thing I knew, I was traveling in a vehicle that reminded me vaguely of a horse drawn cart.  The movement was slow and methodical and someone else was driving it.  I spent my time sitting on top and looking out over the scenery, but it was dark and I was having trouble making it out clearly.  I concentrated.

Slowly, my vision became clearer but as it did, my field of vision shrank to a long thin horizontal ribbon, maybe 1/5 the normal width (which would really be height) that one would normally see as a human.  In addition, the range of sight was wider to the sides of my head than would normally be possible.  I got the impression that the narrowing of visual concentration would assist in perception. 

Slowly, I began to perceive more clearly patterns of light and dark reminiscent of trees and shadow.  Everything was black and white, shadow and light, moving this way and that, reminding me of things on Earth but not quite really anything you could put into words.  There were things there, many things that were like a natural environment similar to our forest and country side scenes, yet they were not exactly that either.  As my vision enhanced, I saw all parts of the scene as either black or white.  There was no grey.  A particular area where a slightly triangular area of white rhythmically shifted back and forth amongst the black particular caught my attention.

Slowly, a feeling of overwhelming awe and beauty built inside me. This place contained more beauty than I had ever seen before.  It was exquisite.  Intense emotion overwhelmed me.  I felt as if I was crying from the intense emotion, but that the concept of crying was just a description of what the emotional effect of the place was yielding in me.  It was the most beautiful place ever seen. 

Suddenly, I snapped awake in my own bedroom.  My physical body was not crying at all, to my surprise, but I did suddenly feel like I needed to pee.  I got up and realized I also had something that my mind immediately wanted to call 'a hard on' even though I am a female and such would not actually be possible.  There was an intense pleasurable sexual feeling emanating from just outside my body about where testicles would be if I were to have them.  It was very pleasant.  I was stumbling to the bathroom half asleep trying to think about how weird it all was.  When I got to the bathroom, I was further confused by the fact that only a little pee was actually present for release.  My body does not usually send false signals in that regard but it had this time.  I had not actually needed to pee but had only felt like I did.  Afterwards, the feeling of needing to pee as well as the feeling of the 'hard on' were both gone. 

I went back to bed, thought about it for a while, and then fell asleep.  I wonder if I failed my mission?       

 

City in the Valley, Reverse Dream

Often I hike on high trails along a nearby mountainside.  The other day, I was hiking along in an interesting kind of mood when I looked far down below me at the many houses in a small valley area, and I felt like scoffing.

"What kind fool builds their cities in totally unprotected valleys!?!"  I thought to myself!

"Surely they must realize how dangerous it is.  Then it occured to me, they must live in a time of unparalelled peace and prosperity to even consider a stunt like that!  Even those small peaks, as low as they are, would offer at least some protection from invasion and attack, and would be the logical place to build, but instead they have actually built their homes in the very depths of the valley!  Unbelievable!"

Then I shook my head and remembered building in the valleys is normal and everyone does it.  Or least that is what they do here.   

The Moon is TOO SMALL! Another Reverse Dream?

The other day, I was in the parking lot of some strip mall when out of the corner of my eye I saw the moon, a huge big beautiful glowing milky smooth thing, about 7 times larger than it usually looks. Instantly, a huge wave of primal relief and joy washed through me.  Finally, my big beautiful moon!  I was home at last!

Then I turned my head and realized it was just a big round white lighted sign for some restaurant.  Disappointment!  I have always felt the moon, the real moon that is, was just too small.  While other people have gazed up and commented on how beautiful and large the moon is, I can't help but inwardly scoff.  I  have always felt there is just something wrong with that little bitty marble they call the moon.  It's way too damned small!  But it wasn't until I mistook that restaurant sign for the moon, that sign that was big and beautiful like the real moon should look like, that I realized the depth of that feeling.  It is a true longing, but for what I don't really understand.     

His Name was Air Ice

I was somewhere on the side of a hill in a dry desert chaparral area when I saw a large dust devil or small tornado.  I became fascinated.  Logically, I knew it was big enough to be potentially dangerous, but I approached anyway, slowly and cautiously.  As I approached, the spinning action seemed to intensify until it really did look like a small but intense tornado, maybe 3 feet across.  I felt fear but still I did not run.

After a short while of watching, the tornado straightened and stayed in one place and I continued to stare at it, fascinated, wondering which direction it would lead next.  I wanted to investigate it but not actually get run over by it.  But how to predict a tornado!

I continued to watch, and as it stayed in one place, very straight and powerful now, I had a strange and illogical feeling that it was actually watching me too!  The feeling intensified and eventually I allowed that the tornado might be sentient in some way and it seemed that it was also curious.  It had a powerful intensity of watchfulness to it.   

Then the tornado disappeared and in its place was a very handsome man.  I knew the man was another manifestation of the tornado, but still I could not help but appreciate the appearance of the man.  He was about 5'10" white, medium build, well muscled, about 23, with strange fine white medium length (for a man) hair and a relaxed confident air.  Except for his hair and extreme handsomeness, he looked very normal.  He wore jeans with a leather belt and no shirt, as he stood calmly and observed me.  I had the sudden idea that his name was "Air Ice," which seemed a very cool and profound name at the time.

He was very handsome but I knew he was also the tornado and still felt some threat from him.  On his side, I felt he wanted to convey to me that he was still a threat and would attack me.  I tried to maintain confidence and think of ways to defend myself, although I could think of nothing in particular.  Soon his attack came and it was like something was wrapping around my legs.  Planning to fight my way out, I looked down and his legs were wrapping around my legs as if they were snakes.  I planned to pull them off but Air Ice made it known that his legs were infinitely stretchy and long and could not be defeated.  I glared at him and this time I saw that while his body position was still the same, his legs were actually missing as they were instead now attacking me instead of being under him.  Only his upper body 'stood' there now looking calmly at me, apparently not need the legs for actual support, but instead just hanging there in midair.  I stopped fighting the sinuous legs knowing he spoke the truth, that they could not be fought.  For whatever reason, I believed what he said, but at the same time somehow I maintained illogical confidence that I would win anyway, even though I did not know how.  I was defiant.

Then his attack stopped, his 'legs' returned to the rest of his body, and the sense of threat from him stopped.  We talked as friendly acquaintances a little bit about a few things, but I can't remember what now.  But I do not have the feeling it was about anything super exciting.  Then he left and as he was walking away, I got the sudden feeling/insight that he was a guide.

Perhaps the main lesson here was to have confidence in your success even if you can't yet see how you will accomplish it.    

3 Weird Dreams, Likely Symbolic, Probably Boring

Two nights ago, I alternated between 3 dreams repeatedly.  I imagine they probably meant something as they were each very intense, but what they may mean is open to interpretation and as well, they may mean many things on many levels. I'm writing them here so I won't forget.  Ironically, I can't remember which dream came first so I will just go from least interesting to the really weird one at the end. 

I was at a school, somewhat similar to my old elementary school, and walking around outside on a busy street similar to a busy street that was in front of my old elementary school.  There was some issue about directions and catching the bus and getting home or getting somewhere. I was on the corner waiting and a bit confused.  Then a bicycle rode by without any rider.  It was moving by itself, which even in a dream, I thought rather odd and interesting, so I chased it down and grabbed it. 

Between the handle bars, instead of a person, was stretched something that looked like fabric, white in the back with a dark patch in the middle.  I interpreted it to be some kind of symbol or sign that gave information.  I spent some time studying the bicycle and wondering why/how it could move by itself.  I jumped between the other dreams and this dream of the bicycle a few times, repeating parts of it several times, until in the last segment of the episode, I concluded that the bicycle was some kind of fundraising vehicle that was sent out on automatic to gather funds for a project.  It even seemed like I had found some kind of written note to that effect somewhere in a small area of the stretched white fabric.  It occured to me that if that was the case, then I should then let the bicycle go on about its way now that it was 'explained' and its purpose was somewhat important. 

The 2nd ongoing dream also had me in a school, but it seemed more like how my old kindergarten school used to be.  All the other kids were in the classroom studying but I felt like that stuff they were learning was boring and too easy and I knew that stuff anyway, so I elected to stay outside and follow around a teacher that was doing something outside, even though on some level I felt that was kind of a bad lazy thing to be doing. 

The teacher was walking around the building doing this and that and I was basically tagging along and chatting a bit.  Then he said he had figured out a new shape for a knife that was different than the old shape and that he hoped it might work better.  He seemed excited about the new idea.  The new shape was a bit rounder near the hilt and longer and thinner at the tip.  He had me stick out my leg, which was bare, and he scraped the knife along the leg at some black squiggly things on the leg that looked like hair, but they did not seem to be affected by the knife.  Then he scraped harder at one and it seemed to become more exposed and easy to see, but it would not scrape away.  He seemed disappointed that the new design did not work better and that we would just have to continue on at the same rate as previously and that was OK too.  This dream too, kept jumping in and out with parts repeating, until finally the end with new knife and then the dream ended for good. 

The last dream, the last segment of which was the last dream I had before waking, involved a room that was reminiscent of several of my old bedrooms with white furniture.  At first, water was attempting to rush out of a big cracked and mangled corner of the room.  Water would rush and seep through mangled cracks, but a large box was stuck in the crack.  There was much consternation by someone that was around that this thing/box was stuck and being stuck was bad.  Who was the upset person?  I did not feel, ironically, that it was me, just someone around the area at first as if there was someone just out of my visual field.  Also, I had a vague impression of some kind of wailing or groaning made by someone, and that the water was contaminated and the walls were being rotted and contaminated by the process.

Next was several segments in which the water appeared to be going the opposite direction, this time rushing in from the crack.  The water seemed fairly clean and there was only a little bit of staining around the edges of the mangled wall parts.  I remember watching many times as water came in through these cracks and fissures in the wall and I got the impression that it was overall a good thing. 

Then finally, I looked behind me to see the rest of the room.  There on the other side of the room was a giant humanlike fetus thing.  It was basically human shaped but about 3 or 4 times too big to have been of a human.  It was also like part flesh and part skeleton as if the flesh part was not done yet and in some places, like on the hands, the skeleton was still exposed because the concept of the flesh was not fully formed.  Or like the flesh was more of a concept superimposed over a different structure underneath.  It was creepy looking and there was a kind of wailing or moaning coming from the area around it.  It thrashed in a strange relaxed way and light and mist seemed to swirl and flicker around it.  For some reason, I kept looking at the hands where the flesh concept didn't quite cover over the skeletons fingers.  Then I woke up.