I was on the train, my stuff all layed out in front of me on the table, when someone told me it was only a short distance before I needed to get off and make the connection to the last leg of the journey. I felt a bit panicky as I scrambled to get everything organized. If I didn't hurry, I would miss the connection! I remember struggling to concentrate so I could get it all back in order quickly. Then there was a brief pause. And then I woke up.
I have had these kinds of dreams innumberable times just before I wake in the morning. This morning, I dreamt I was on a train. But usually, I am either on a bus or rushing to jump onto one. Almost always, there is an issue of complex interchanges and connections that are easily missed and require considerable concentration. I worry that either my timing does not match the bus schedule, or the bus will not deposit me where I want to go. Or I fear I will become lost. Sometimes, I even pull out a map that shows pathways so complex that I would not be able to understand them in waking life.
The worst is if I am actually the one driving, because the car invariably moves me at insane speeds around sharp corners and strangely the spongy brake peddle barely works and the gas peddle seems stuck on 'too fast!' Add to that the fact that I can barely see the road ahead of me and I am surrounded by other cars! Then my main concern is just trying to stay on the road.
No matter which mode of transport, typically I am feeling nervous about making a mistake and thinking that I only have to catch one more connection, and then the next thing I know, I become conscious of lieing in my bed. Who would have thought it would be so complicated just to wake up!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
The Gods Must be Crazy
We were gods, glorious and divine. I flew through space and time, my long lithe body gliding between my huge long white wings, my grace and elegance unfathomable. Of course, the wings and my appearance where just an icon, a symbol of my truth, an image that some people saw of me, but it wasn't really what I was. Because I was a God.
Often, I spent time with other Gods, socializing and talking about various interesting aspects of reality and other Godlike things. One God in particular stayed in my mind. He was always bragging about his skills, or so it seemed to me, and it galled me to know that he had many skills and areas of knowledge that I did not have.
I tried to ignore him but one time he began talking about how he could create things from his own body. I did not want to hear about it but he was soon bulging his mighty muscles and I was unpleasantly surprised to see his muscles quickly grew one on top of another, making something where once there was nothing. He made a kind of reality or material from his body that was now a reality unto itself, a truly divine creation and I had no idea how he accomplished that.
I was infuriated by his creation, but I knew I was not as powerful as him and could not challenge him or his creation without being humiliated in loss. However, I was a crafty creature, more so than most other Gods, and now I put that skill to use. I realized that if I took myself far away and then set in motion a series of events in other realities that would snowball into a huge force before they were noticed and before they reached the newly created reality, in this way, I could use my power to destroy that which the other God had created. The other God would not be able to stop the force of the attack by the time he realized what was happening, because the power of the assault would have already magnified a hundred fold over what I had started.
I was thrilled and excited by my brilliance and quickly set the plan in motion. I went to the far away place where no one would ever think to look for me and with a great surge of power and glory, I put forth a series of events that defy description for anyone other than a God. Then I waited eagerly for the outcome.
But it all went horribly wrong. The other God had not done as expected. He had not accepted my brilliant victory. Instead he stood before my attack and took the full brunt, even knowing he would fail. And now he must surely be crushed!
In horror, I raced back through the realities to investigate. For a fraction of an instant, I saw myself as the blindly jealous and lowly creature that I was for having done such a thing, but then I was back to thinking like a God. After all Gods play all the time. What I had done was nothing unusual for our society. I was merely existing according to my nature.
Coming closer to the scene of the attack, I was somewhat relieved to find that the other God was diminished greatly but not destroyed, just in a sort of limbo from the damage done to him. I was saddened by his plight and simply could not understand why he had stood his ground for a mere creation and for those creatures that lived there. Why had he not done the logical thing and stood aside? Why did he care so much about that reality that he would risk his own destruction? The concept was beyond me.
And now he would lay in a near calcified state, nearly immobile through magnitudes of time so long that most of the other Gods would no longer remember him once he rose again. And even in his defeat, he had managed to take the joy of victory from me. I decided I would now fly on to other things and endeavors. This particular game was over and had not been fun at all.
Often, I spent time with other Gods, socializing and talking about various interesting aspects of reality and other Godlike things. One God in particular stayed in my mind. He was always bragging about his skills, or so it seemed to me, and it galled me to know that he had many skills and areas of knowledge that I did not have.
I tried to ignore him but one time he began talking about how he could create things from his own body. I did not want to hear about it but he was soon bulging his mighty muscles and I was unpleasantly surprised to see his muscles quickly grew one on top of another, making something where once there was nothing. He made a kind of reality or material from his body that was now a reality unto itself, a truly divine creation and I had no idea how he accomplished that.
I was infuriated by his creation, but I knew I was not as powerful as him and could not challenge him or his creation without being humiliated in loss. However, I was a crafty creature, more so than most other Gods, and now I put that skill to use. I realized that if I took myself far away and then set in motion a series of events in other realities that would snowball into a huge force before they were noticed and before they reached the newly created reality, in this way, I could use my power to destroy that which the other God had created. The other God would not be able to stop the force of the attack by the time he realized what was happening, because the power of the assault would have already magnified a hundred fold over what I had started.
I was thrilled and excited by my brilliance and quickly set the plan in motion. I went to the far away place where no one would ever think to look for me and with a great surge of power and glory, I put forth a series of events that defy description for anyone other than a God. Then I waited eagerly for the outcome.
But it all went horribly wrong. The other God had not done as expected. He had not accepted my brilliant victory. Instead he stood before my attack and took the full brunt, even knowing he would fail. And now he must surely be crushed!
In horror, I raced back through the realities to investigate. For a fraction of an instant, I saw myself as the blindly jealous and lowly creature that I was for having done such a thing, but then I was back to thinking like a God. After all Gods play all the time. What I had done was nothing unusual for our society. I was merely existing according to my nature.
Coming closer to the scene of the attack, I was somewhat relieved to find that the other God was diminished greatly but not destroyed, just in a sort of limbo from the damage done to him. I was saddened by his plight and simply could not understand why he had stood his ground for a mere creation and for those creatures that lived there. Why had he not done the logical thing and stood aside? Why did he care so much about that reality that he would risk his own destruction? The concept was beyond me.
And now he would lay in a near calcified state, nearly immobile through magnitudes of time so long that most of the other Gods would no longer remember him once he rose again. And even in his defeat, he had managed to take the joy of victory from me. I decided I would now fly on to other things and endeavors. This particular game was over and had not been fun at all.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Red Fear
I came into the room to assasinate him. Or should I say 'it.' Gender did not seem relevant but for the sake of discussion, I will call it a 'him.' He was a huge shaggy creature, maybe 10 feet high and lengthwise even bigger, shaped roughly like an elephant but with copious amounts of long wavy reddish fur all over, he stood on all fours with the head and elephantine trunk in the front. THe fur was so thick and fluffy that other anatomic details were obscured.
The creature was relaxed when I came in. My intentions did not seem of concern. Indeed, although I should have struck immediately, instead I dithered and began speaking with the creature. Soon, my intentions wavered. I didn't know why, but I knew I would not kill him. Dimly, I realized the creature was controlling my mind in some way. He took his long trunk and rubbed it gently on my back. The trunk was covered in the red fur but large black hard bumps stuck out from the wavy strands. Vaguely, I knew I had already lost. I was under its control.
The creature allowed me to live in his byzantine dimly lit underground facility. Level upon level of rooms and corridors were present and I was only familiar with a few. Most of the time, I was alone and rarely did I see any of my own kind or even anyone at all. SOmetimes, to keep myself entertained, I went into a large rectangular room made of a clear substance like glass that glowed a frosty white against the darkness of the rest of the facility. THere, I played a form of solo handball against the walls. I felt privileged to be so trusted by the creature.
Another time, visitors came to the facility. They were humans of my own kind and I let them in to visit, but in the back of my mind, I wondered if the creature would be unhappy with me.
It was not long after that I was riding an elevator up to another level and the doors opened out to a floor I had not intended. In the halls of this level, frightened humans huddled. I knew that my coming to this location was the will of the creature so I stepped out into the hall and allowed the elevator doors to close behind me. There was no going back.
I soon saw why the humans were frightened. THings were crawling at the edge of vision. THings skittered out from behind panels in the walls and then disappeared just as fast. They were behind us, in front of us, and in the walls and ceilings. My mind struggled to process them and sometimes I saw them as flattened deflated humans that scrabbled on all fours, but that was probably just an illusion. I didn't know what they were, but I knew they were fast moving, difficult to see, and intent on killing us.
I knew this challenge was set to me by the red shaggy creature, but I was sad to think that most if not all of the humans around me, untrained and ill prepared, would likely die, and even my own life was in grave danger. There was a good change that even with all my skill, I myself might not pass this test. And I accepted that.
End dream.
The creature was relaxed when I came in. My intentions did not seem of concern. Indeed, although I should have struck immediately, instead I dithered and began speaking with the creature. Soon, my intentions wavered. I didn't know why, but I knew I would not kill him. Dimly, I realized the creature was controlling my mind in some way. He took his long trunk and rubbed it gently on my back. The trunk was covered in the red fur but large black hard bumps stuck out from the wavy strands. Vaguely, I knew I had already lost. I was under its control.
The creature allowed me to live in his byzantine dimly lit underground facility. Level upon level of rooms and corridors were present and I was only familiar with a few. Most of the time, I was alone and rarely did I see any of my own kind or even anyone at all. SOmetimes, to keep myself entertained, I went into a large rectangular room made of a clear substance like glass that glowed a frosty white against the darkness of the rest of the facility. THere, I played a form of solo handball against the walls. I felt privileged to be so trusted by the creature.
Another time, visitors came to the facility. They were humans of my own kind and I let them in to visit, but in the back of my mind, I wondered if the creature would be unhappy with me.
It was not long after that I was riding an elevator up to another level and the doors opened out to a floor I had not intended. In the halls of this level, frightened humans huddled. I knew that my coming to this location was the will of the creature so I stepped out into the hall and allowed the elevator doors to close behind me. There was no going back.
I soon saw why the humans were frightened. THings were crawling at the edge of vision. THings skittered out from behind panels in the walls and then disappeared just as fast. They were behind us, in front of us, and in the walls and ceilings. My mind struggled to process them and sometimes I saw them as flattened deflated humans that scrabbled on all fours, but that was probably just an illusion. I didn't know what they were, but I knew they were fast moving, difficult to see, and intent on killing us.
I knew this challenge was set to me by the red shaggy creature, but I was sad to think that most if not all of the humans around me, untrained and ill prepared, would likely die, and even my own life was in grave danger. There was a good change that even with all my skill, I myself might not pass this test. And I accepted that.
End dream.
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