Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Reverse dream II
Last month, I had another example of a weird memory that doesn't belong in this world. Perhaps it can all be blamed on the fever. I had the flu for several days and was feverish and tired. I was moving from a lit room into the dark bathroom when it occured. As I shut the bathroom door behind me, I didn't bother to turn on the bathroom lights. Because I 'knew' that the house technology would automatically turn on the lights in any room that I entered. Except it didn't work and I was left standing in the dark. At first, I was surprised to see the system had not worked properly. Such failures are rare and I wasn't sure what to do about it. Then I realized, "Oh yeah, it doesn't work like that here, you have to turn on the lights yourself. Silly me!" Where did I get that weird memory from? It's not something I have ever experienced in this world.
Radiation
I've been here several years now, in this new place, and I'm starting to fit in, or at least a feel like I am. I know what to do now, I'm a useful member of society and they seem to accept me. I stay here in a room at the place of one of the native families, probably so they can keep an eye on me and make sure that I am what I say I am. That seems to be the custom here as a matter of course. Newcomers are placed with established families and stay with them long term as they work for their new society. This are a distrustful society.
Personally, I have no problem with this place but I can't really say I love it either. It's just that I had no place to go and here has worked out for me. I have a good job and a good place to stay and it's been a nice stable environment. They seem to find me useful and if I stay here long enough, they will likely eventually let me have a place of my own. It's only a matter of time, sticking to the job, and staying out of trouble. It's a pretty good life really.
Down the street, another one of the newcomers is also staying. He hasn't been here as long as I have, but he's been generating a great deal of interest because of the new science and technology he has brought with him. At first he just did small experiments but the leaders of this society were very impressed by it, some kind of chemical based technology that generates energy. The main problem is that the technology also generates radioactivity.
People here in this society have little understanding of the dangers of radioactivity. He has tried to explain to them but they just don't get it or they just don't want to get it. They are too excited by the benefits of the technology to want to think about the dangers. I on the other hand have seen some of the damage it's done in other places. I don't understand it either but I do understand that it is dangerous and the expansion of the experiments makes me uneasy. I don't think even he understands fully what he is doing, but the urge to fit in and the excitement of this new society of his both serve to urge him forward with his experiments. There is tremendous pressure on him to do more.
Where before he had only tiny palm sized plastic dishes for his experiments, now he has expanded the experiments to huge wood pallets full of the chemical spread out all across the deck of the house he is staying in. The wood is stacked high and I observe from a distance. Worry gnaws at me and my worst fears are realized when I hear an aweful cracking noise. The deck has collapsed and the wooden pallets on top have fallen to either side! Fearing that radiation is surely escaping now, I run away as fast as I can to the administration building to alert those in charge.
By the time I get there, the place is already in an uproar. People are running around in a panic, some in confusion, others trying to figure out what to do, and still others are found seemingly intent only on proclaiming how right there were that such technology should not have have been undertaken in the first place. Those few had been protesting all along and now their worst fears have been proven right. However, instead of looking fearful or horrified, these few seem perversely happy and justified, as if the chance to be proven right could be actually more important than the safety of their own society. Could they have been involved in the disaster themselves, perhaps to sabotage the experiments and be proven right?
Watching the milieu, I feel frustrated and sick inside. I realize no one knows what to do because there is nothing to be done. My own knowledge of the radiation tells me the only thing that can be done is to run away. It's every man for himself and since my heart never truly belonged to this society, it's an easy decision for me to decide to run. Know the winds blow to the south, I run hard and fast to the north. But all the while, I still cannot be hopeful. Because the winds are not reliable. Eventually they will shift back and the radiation will blow this way too. And I can only go a little to the north before I must stop. Because this land is an island and there is no way off. Eventually the winds will shift, bringing the radiation with it, and then we will all die. One after another.
Personally, I have no problem with this place but I can't really say I love it either. It's just that I had no place to go and here has worked out for me. I have a good job and a good place to stay and it's been a nice stable environment. They seem to find me useful and if I stay here long enough, they will likely eventually let me have a place of my own. It's only a matter of time, sticking to the job, and staying out of trouble. It's a pretty good life really.
Down the street, another one of the newcomers is also staying. He hasn't been here as long as I have, but he's been generating a great deal of interest because of the new science and technology he has brought with him. At first he just did small experiments but the leaders of this society were very impressed by it, some kind of chemical based technology that generates energy. The main problem is that the technology also generates radioactivity.
People here in this society have little understanding of the dangers of radioactivity. He has tried to explain to them but they just don't get it or they just don't want to get it. They are too excited by the benefits of the technology to want to think about the dangers. I on the other hand have seen some of the damage it's done in other places. I don't understand it either but I do understand that it is dangerous and the expansion of the experiments makes me uneasy. I don't think even he understands fully what he is doing, but the urge to fit in and the excitement of this new society of his both serve to urge him forward with his experiments. There is tremendous pressure on him to do more.
Where before he had only tiny palm sized plastic dishes for his experiments, now he has expanded the experiments to huge wood pallets full of the chemical spread out all across the deck of the house he is staying in. The wood is stacked high and I observe from a distance. Worry gnaws at me and my worst fears are realized when I hear an aweful cracking noise. The deck has collapsed and the wooden pallets on top have fallen to either side! Fearing that radiation is surely escaping now, I run away as fast as I can to the administration building to alert those in charge.
By the time I get there, the place is already in an uproar. People are running around in a panic, some in confusion, others trying to figure out what to do, and still others are found seemingly intent only on proclaiming how right there were that such technology should not have have been undertaken in the first place. Those few had been protesting all along and now their worst fears have been proven right. However, instead of looking fearful or horrified, these few seem perversely happy and justified, as if the chance to be proven right could be actually more important than the safety of their own society. Could they have been involved in the disaster themselves, perhaps to sabotage the experiments and be proven right?
Watching the milieu, I feel frustrated and sick inside. I realize no one knows what to do because there is nothing to be done. My own knowledge of the radiation tells me the only thing that can be done is to run away. It's every man for himself and since my heart never truly belonged to this society, it's an easy decision for me to decide to run. Know the winds blow to the south, I run hard and fast to the north. But all the while, I still cannot be hopeful. Because the winds are not reliable. Eventually they will shift back and the radiation will blow this way too. And I can only go a little to the north before I must stop. Because this land is an island and there is no way off. Eventually the winds will shift, bringing the radiation with it, and then we will all die. One after another.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Dragon's Death
I peered around from behind the cement pillar, looking for the enemy. I sensed danger around me and became concerned that we had been found out. My clan leaders were inside the building I was guarding and there should have been no enemies here. They should not have known our location, yet we had already found one enemy scout and suspected several others were near. This was not good. I had a bad feeling, but to move without caution now could easily mean my death. As had happened many times in the past, I was in a life and death struggle to find the enemy and kill him before he found me.
My surroundings appeared to be ordinary every day modern day buildings, one several stories tall cement building inside of which my superiors were currently working, some flat parking areas around me, a tall cinder block wall in front, other buildings and a sparsely used roadway beyond, and several large rectangular well manicured grass areas along the road. It all seemed so normal but I knew danger lurked at every corner.
Eventually, I made my way back to one of my superiors near the building and we discussed the situation. We felt we were in considerable danger with our important people still inside the building, so few of us guardians present, and our location likely now known by the enemy. We could easily be overwelmed if we were not careful, but my superior offered me one solution.
He informed me that I could turn into a dragon! I immediately agreed and the next thing I knew, I was a dragon, not the lithe and sinuous creatures of Chinese legend, but instead a huge thick bodied brute of a creature with huge arms, slashing claws, and dark grey green scales. And somehow, despite the obvious problems of gravity and physics, I could even fly!
I sent out my dragon mind and sound found I knew the locations of nearby enemy agents. Now in my huge beast body, I easily descended down upon each one of them and slashed them down to death in seconds. No more did I need to sneak and scurry for my life. Now I could simply pound anyone to death in seconds using my huge scaly dragon arms and claws. I felt a great freedom from fear and a great pleasure in the new simplicity of executing my tasks quickly and efficiently and without fear. Thus, were the 3 or 4 nearby enemy agents dispatched and then I flew up and grasped onto the side of a nearby building to think and survey the area further.
Indeed, I could fly but it was not an easy task. I found I had to concentrate every second of the time in order to keep myself aloft and not crash into some nearby obstacle by mistake. My heavy dragon body was difficult to control in flight and it seemed that gravity and momentum were only just barely compensated for at any given time. Thus I found that I could not effectively think about anything other than flying during times of flight. And so I had to aloft on the side of the building in order to consider what next I should do.
At first as I sat there clutching some curly cue ornamental stone work on one corner of the building, I felt the job had thusfar been strangely too easy. It seemed almost a waste to have had so little to do and such an easy task for such a great and powerful body as the dragon. But then I let my mind stretch out further beyond my immediate surroundings and I realized my task was far from over.
There beyond the tall cinder block wall, arrayed out on top of a structure that looked like the top of a parking garage, were many many scores of the enemy. They lay in wait as part of a trap set for us. They only awaited the order for when to move on us, maybe 100 or 120 of them total, a large allotment of resources even coming from a larger clan like themselves. They meant to crush us and they were putting out a lot of effort to do so.
Quickly, I met again with my immediate supervisor and he advised me of that which I already knew, that it would be my task and my task alone to slaughter those atop the parking structure. With so many of their resources there, he did not know if they would have weapons that would be able to harm me, but that would be a risk I would have to take.
Trying not to worry about danger to myself, danger that most likely I could do nothing about, I flew to the parking garage roof and starting killing as many as I could as fast as I could. At first, I killed by slashing down with my powerful claws and arms, ripping open flesh and crushing bones. But then I realized that some might survive such an assault. Any victim that lived would be another person that would come against us as a powerful enemy in the future, probably an even more dangerous enemy than they had been to start with, but yet I did not have time now to be checking each body to insure death as I had done with the few scouts I had previously killed. So I reasoned that the only way to insure death would be to rip each body into two parts, the lower half from the upper, a procedure that surely no one would survive.
And so, as much as I loathed it, I began to tear many of my victims in two. Unlike the simple pounding slash that I had previously used, the tearing caused the majority of the skin to come away on one specific side, like a sock coming off a foot, while the majority of the meat would slide out into the other half. The feeling in my hands was akin to yanking apart a large slimey lumpy sausage with a very thick and stubborn casing. This horrible feeling weighed on my mind as I performed each killing and I did my best not to think about it too much and instead concentrated on killing as fast as possible.
I had not time to lose because as I killed, I could sense the warriors at the edge of the hoard were not thinking of attacking me but instead were scattering in all directions like ants into the forest, running in many directions at once, blending back into society, not easily to be found again. It would be impossible for me to get them all, but I knew I had to get as many as possible. The killing proceeded for some time until all were dead or ran away.
After the slaughter, I returned to my supervisor and was advised not to return to the killing area again for some time. And indeed, I already felt a strange urge to return there again later, when everything was cleaned up again and the bright sun shined on the green grass and the blood had been mostly washed away. I longed to see the place in its natural state again without the bodies and death, but I was advised that the investigators would be monitoring the area for some time to come, hoping themselves that the perpetrator of the killing would come back to see his handiwork. And so I could not return for that reason. I could not give them even the slightest clue that it had been me.
But overall, my superiors were pleased. Most importantly, we had all survived. The enemies, it turned out, had no weapon to use against me and many of them had been killed. All my superiors had finished their business and escaped and we now blended back into the society around us. No one would know we were involved in the killing. The mission had been a success.
I slept for a while with a strange feeling of peace and security and eventually found myself awake in the now waking world of here. For several hours, I retained a strange feeling of grim determination, and I could still remember the power that had been in my great dragon arms and of the strange stubby wing protuberances that had been at my back. And I remembered the sickening feeling of the skin ripping off the human victims as I pulled them apart. And I tried not to think of it too much until finally the regular concerns of the day, getting gas, arriving on time for my appointments, finding lunch, finally pushed aside some of those dream memories.
My surroundings appeared to be ordinary every day modern day buildings, one several stories tall cement building inside of which my superiors were currently working, some flat parking areas around me, a tall cinder block wall in front, other buildings and a sparsely used roadway beyond, and several large rectangular well manicured grass areas along the road. It all seemed so normal but I knew danger lurked at every corner.
Eventually, I made my way back to one of my superiors near the building and we discussed the situation. We felt we were in considerable danger with our important people still inside the building, so few of us guardians present, and our location likely now known by the enemy. We could easily be overwelmed if we were not careful, but my superior offered me one solution.
He informed me that I could turn into a dragon! I immediately agreed and the next thing I knew, I was a dragon, not the lithe and sinuous creatures of Chinese legend, but instead a huge thick bodied brute of a creature with huge arms, slashing claws, and dark grey green scales. And somehow, despite the obvious problems of gravity and physics, I could even fly!
I sent out my dragon mind and sound found I knew the locations of nearby enemy agents. Now in my huge beast body, I easily descended down upon each one of them and slashed them down to death in seconds. No more did I need to sneak and scurry for my life. Now I could simply pound anyone to death in seconds using my huge scaly dragon arms and claws. I felt a great freedom from fear and a great pleasure in the new simplicity of executing my tasks quickly and efficiently and without fear. Thus, were the 3 or 4 nearby enemy agents dispatched and then I flew up and grasped onto the side of a nearby building to think and survey the area further.
Indeed, I could fly but it was not an easy task. I found I had to concentrate every second of the time in order to keep myself aloft and not crash into some nearby obstacle by mistake. My heavy dragon body was difficult to control in flight and it seemed that gravity and momentum were only just barely compensated for at any given time. Thus I found that I could not effectively think about anything other than flying during times of flight. And so I had to aloft on the side of the building in order to consider what next I should do.
At first as I sat there clutching some curly cue ornamental stone work on one corner of the building, I felt the job had thusfar been strangely too easy. It seemed almost a waste to have had so little to do and such an easy task for such a great and powerful body as the dragon. But then I let my mind stretch out further beyond my immediate surroundings and I realized my task was far from over.
There beyond the tall cinder block wall, arrayed out on top of a structure that looked like the top of a parking garage, were many many scores of the enemy. They lay in wait as part of a trap set for us. They only awaited the order for when to move on us, maybe 100 or 120 of them total, a large allotment of resources even coming from a larger clan like themselves. They meant to crush us and they were putting out a lot of effort to do so.
Quickly, I met again with my immediate supervisor and he advised me of that which I already knew, that it would be my task and my task alone to slaughter those atop the parking structure. With so many of their resources there, he did not know if they would have weapons that would be able to harm me, but that would be a risk I would have to take.
Trying not to worry about danger to myself, danger that most likely I could do nothing about, I flew to the parking garage roof and starting killing as many as I could as fast as I could. At first, I killed by slashing down with my powerful claws and arms, ripping open flesh and crushing bones. But then I realized that some might survive such an assault. Any victim that lived would be another person that would come against us as a powerful enemy in the future, probably an even more dangerous enemy than they had been to start with, but yet I did not have time now to be checking each body to insure death as I had done with the few scouts I had previously killed. So I reasoned that the only way to insure death would be to rip each body into two parts, the lower half from the upper, a procedure that surely no one would survive.
And so, as much as I loathed it, I began to tear many of my victims in two. Unlike the simple pounding slash that I had previously used, the tearing caused the majority of the skin to come away on one specific side, like a sock coming off a foot, while the majority of the meat would slide out into the other half. The feeling in my hands was akin to yanking apart a large slimey lumpy sausage with a very thick and stubborn casing. This horrible feeling weighed on my mind as I performed each killing and I did my best not to think about it too much and instead concentrated on killing as fast as possible.
I had not time to lose because as I killed, I could sense the warriors at the edge of the hoard were not thinking of attacking me but instead were scattering in all directions like ants into the forest, running in many directions at once, blending back into society, not easily to be found again. It would be impossible for me to get them all, but I knew I had to get as many as possible. The killing proceeded for some time until all were dead or ran away.
After the slaughter, I returned to my supervisor and was advised not to return to the killing area again for some time. And indeed, I already felt a strange urge to return there again later, when everything was cleaned up again and the bright sun shined on the green grass and the blood had been mostly washed away. I longed to see the place in its natural state again without the bodies and death, but I was advised that the investigators would be monitoring the area for some time to come, hoping themselves that the perpetrator of the killing would come back to see his handiwork. And so I could not return for that reason. I could not give them even the slightest clue that it had been me.
But overall, my superiors were pleased. Most importantly, we had all survived. The enemies, it turned out, had no weapon to use against me and many of them had been killed. All my superiors had finished their business and escaped and we now blended back into the society around us. No one would know we were involved in the killing. The mission had been a success.
I slept for a while with a strange feeling of peace and security and eventually found myself awake in the now waking world of here. For several hours, I retained a strange feeling of grim determination, and I could still remember the power that had been in my great dragon arms and of the strange stubby wing protuberances that had been at my back. And I remembered the sickening feeling of the skin ripping off the human victims as I pulled them apart. And I tried not to think of it too much until finally the regular concerns of the day, getting gas, arriving on time for my appointments, finding lunch, finally pushed aside some of those dream memories.
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