My Part in the Game

It began innocently enough as a mystery whodunnit dinner game. A jovial group of us came to eat and digest clues to figure out a grand mystery. The leaders of the game were a finely dressed sharp eyed older woman in a white knee length skirt and her side kick, a middle aged tall thin quiet man with a receding hairline. At first it was fun, huddling in groups, guessing at clues, pondering on who we could trust.

But then it took a sinister turn.  The old woman became snide and verbally abusive.  Eventually I learned she was hitting and abusing some of the younger people way out in the massive back yard when others weren't around.  We began to complain and that's when she told us we couldn't leave unless we did what she said, and there was no way out.  It was also at that time that a lot of the people who had come in with me were now gone.  No they were not milling in the back yard or in another room, they just weren't there anymore and the old woman with a sly smile told me that it was none of my business where they were.  

Weeks past and things only devolved from there.  She became more abusive.   Her favorite weapon was a short whip or flail that she would lash at your face if she didn't like how fast you were moving or if you looked at her for too long.  The three of us that were left learned to keep our heads down.  I noticed I rarely saw the quiet mousy nervous 18 year old girl, she was usually out in the backyard, and eventually I didn't see her at all.  Then it was just me and that tall pudgy middle aged Asian looking man with the kind smile.  Until he was gone too.

So many weeks had passed, or was it months now?  I realized I was some kind of chosen one in their eyes.  They had me wearing a weird short black shiny cloak that in my opinion has was horribly tacky and cheap but they seemed to think it had special meaning.  Needless to say, I kept my real opinions to myself and tried to go along with their bs.  Over time, they were behaving less violently and for the most part, we lived quietly.  But I was still looking for opportunities to escape.  

One day when the man was not around, I tried to seduce the old woman.  It was a risk but I could not think of a better strategy.  She was obviously the leader and maybe I could get her to trust me more or let down her guard or maybe I could sew strife between her and her side kick.  I noticed as I got close to her, she was much older looking than I had first thought, deep lines etched into her face, covered over incompletely with skin tone makeup, how had I not noticed that before?  She was just really really OLD!  But it didn't matter for my strategy, I figured it would either work or she would get angry and hit me but I had already been hit so many times, another round was worth the risk.  Strangely she just looked at my impassively when I tried though, with a blank stony look on her face devoid of personality.  The seduction was not working at all and I felt like a fool for trying, but neither did she seem displeased.  

Instead she calmly explained to me that I was not designed to be with her but instead I was to be for the middle aged man. Because she would not be around much longer, she had blood cancer and would be gone soon.  I calmly accepted the information, at this point, I was numb to any trauma and I also had no love of the woman, if she died, that just meant a change in power dynamics, but other than that, I had no feelings other than being glad they were not angry with me. 

Not long after that, the man left for the back yard with a shovel and pick and I knew that the old woman was dead and he meant to bury her.  Some hours later, he came back in heading directly towards me with the shovel and a very intense expression.  I realized he was angry, the first time I had actually sensed strong emotion from him.  He took the shovel and started hitting me with it and I understood he was angry about the death of the woman and taking it out on me.  This was the first time either of them had ever hit me with something that dangerous as full swings with a shovel.  Strangely though, each time the shovel came down on me, it seemed to slow down and not hit me hard and not actually hurt.  At first I just stared in confusion but then I realized my part in the game meant I should put on a show so I held my head and tried to look agonized, it seemed important that I put on the best and most convincing show that I could until finally it was over.    

After that, the house was quiet with just the two of us, he had never been one to talk much and I had learned months ago to keep my own mouth shut for anything other than essential communication.  I realized I was quite lonely and began to long for communication with my friends and social media.  Surely there would be many good conversations and stories waiting for me once I got back to the rest of the world. I looked around the house, everything was white, the furniture, the carpet, the entire place was bland and empty and devoid of character and totally totally white, how I had I not noticed that before?  This was my old home that I had grown up in, except that everything was white.  It felt surreal.  And very very lonely.

The next thing I knew, I was making phone calls to old friends on an old fashioned land line telephone in the kitchen of the house.  I was telling them yes, I'd be getting married soon.  What was he like?  My voice was calm and completely jovial as I spoke to them.  The man was in the kitchen working but also listening to my every word, but I felt confident, I knew my acting skills were perfect.  I told my friends he was like 'nice guy meets Jesus' but in my mind I added 'freak' at the end as in 'nice guy meets Jesus Freak.'  My friends were happy for me, they assumed I was happy and that made them happy.  I could tell that the man was also pleased.  For some reason beyond my ability to understand, he believed my act, he thought I meant what I said to my friends, he thought their mission had succeeded.  But inside I knew I was just waiting for my chance to escape. 

And then I woke up.