Ribbon Realm of Black and White

There were two of us.  One was me, of course, but the other one was also me, somehow.  We were both me yet somehow also separate from each other and we were on a mission.  First was a briefing in which it was explained I was to retrieve myself from other worlds where I had gotten stuck in the past.  Apparently, I had gone to many worlds and in about 4 or 5 of those worlds or realms, I had gotten stuck and never came back.  I was still there even now and so I had to go and get myself out.   I remember thinking that 4 or 5 worlds wasn't too bad and I was happy that the number of retrievals still needed did not seem overly high.  I felt like I had been doing quite well to only have 4 or 5 stuck worlds!  The concept of me being stuck places but also having two of me here reminded me fleetingly of a really complex Dr. Who (a TV show about a time traveler) plot line.

After the briefing, I found myself looking at a barely visible natural looking scenery, similar to a wilderness scene at night.  Water seemed nearby like a river, but it was difficult to see clearly.  Overlaid on top of the scene as if a computer resided directly in my brain, was computer style writing and information, and at the top middle of my vision was a photo style image of a middle aged man with a slightly thin face and a friendly smile.  He was the one who needed retrieval but apparently was also somehow 'me.' 

The next thing I knew, I was traveling in a vehicle that reminded me vaguely of a horse drawn cart.  The movement was slow and methodical and someone else was driving it.  I spent my time sitting on top and looking out over the scenery, but it was dark and I was having trouble making it out clearly.  I concentrated.

Slowly, my vision became clearer but as it did, my field of vision shrank to a long thin horizontal ribbon, maybe 1/5 the normal width (which would really be height) that one would normally see as a human.  In addition, the range of sight was wider to the sides of my head than would normally be possible.  I got the impression that the narrowing of visual concentration would assist in perception. 

Slowly, I began to perceive more clearly patterns of light and dark reminiscent of trees and shadow.  Everything was black and white, shadow and light, moving this way and that, reminding me of things on Earth but not quite really anything you could put into words.  There were things there, many things that were like a natural environment similar to our forest and country side scenes, yet they were not exactly that either.  As my vision enhanced, I saw all parts of the scene as either black or white.  There was no grey.  A particular area where a slightly triangular area of white rhythmically shifted back and forth amongst the black particular caught my attention.

Slowly, a feeling of overwhelming awe and beauty built inside me. This place contained more beauty than I had ever seen before.  It was exquisite.  Intense emotion overwhelmed me.  I felt as if I was crying from the intense emotion, but that the concept of crying was just a description of what the emotional effect of the place was yielding in me.  It was the most beautiful place ever seen. 

Suddenly, I snapped awake in my own bedroom.  My physical body was not crying at all, to my surprise, but I did suddenly feel like I needed to pee.  I got up and realized I also had something that my mind immediately wanted to call 'a hard on' even though I am a female and such would not actually be possible.  There was an intense pleasurable sexual feeling emanating from just outside my body about where testicles would be if I were to have them.  It was very pleasant.  I was stumbling to the bathroom half asleep trying to think about how weird it all was.  When I got to the bathroom, I was further confused by the fact that only a little pee was actually present for release.  My body does not usually send false signals in that regard but it had this time.  I had not actually needed to pee but had only felt like I did.  Afterwards, the feeling of needing to pee as well as the feeling of the 'hard on' were both gone. 

I went back to bed, thought about it for a while, and then fell asleep.  I wonder if I failed my mission?       

 

Changing the Old Programs

I looked at the brain in front of me, not literally at it, but at a conceptualization of it, as if it were a whole item, not split in hemispheres, and not in its real physical shape but as an idea. To me, it seemed more like a dark grey half sphere resting on its flat side, an intact package containing innumerable programs, similar to computer programs. Some of these programs were big but so many of them were very tiny swirls and they all interacted to create the whole package. What we were doing was changing all of the programs, every one. It was our mission. All of them would change. I felt confident about that.

Fractionally my thoughts shifted and I remembered we were not changing all of the programs, we were only changing all of the OLD programs. We could not change the new programs, only the old. The programs that were intermediate in age would be effected in some intermediate way but exactly how didn’t seem important to me now. Minor details! What mattered was the old programs would all be changed and the new programs would not. The rest would sort itself out.

My perspective shifted again and the brain was all around me now. I was using it, thinking with it. I noticed it felt the same as it always did. My thoughts and consciousness still felt the same. I wondered if perhaps that was because I was in the part that was new programs that had not been changed.

I felt myself traveling upwards towards wakefulness and shortly after one last big shift, I was there in my bedroom awake and pondering the strange dream. I would have to write this down surely, I was thinking, but soon I was drifting off again, only to be woken again rudely by the sound of someone pounding vociferously on some sheets of plywood. Except I realized there was no plywood. The sound and the plywood were all in my mind and I had a strong feeling it was an effort by my mind to convince me to wake up and remember the dream about my brain. It was important somehow.

Eventually I drifted off again anyway but did manage to suddenly remember the dream halfway through the next waking day. Maybe the plywood interruption was just enough to do the job.

I have felt a bit strange lately. I wonder if my old programs really are changing.